Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Narcissists and bullies

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  • Hebe, in reply to Sofie Bribiesca,

    Whilst I know that our culture is what enables this ,I have to say that, I certainly have received my serving of sadness today from Wendyl Nissen at The Herald .Does a Mother have no words for her daughter ? Geez. :(

    Fucking hell.

    Christchurch • Since May 2011 • 2896 posts Report Reply

  • Just thinking, in reply to nzlemming,

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite, in reply to Sofie Bribiesca,

    Rape is not merely forceful penetration, but permanent humiliation. In letting the Roastbusters Facebook page remain active (and it's up again), the rape culture of the police continues the rapes.

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    Friends I hadn’t seen for 30 years – we were at college together in Glen Innes – were discussing this last night. There are families with decades worth of entrenched abusive behaviour they are passing on to each generation. Some people escape, or were protected from it in various ways. Grand-dad abused all his kids and a lot of the cousins, but dad would *never* let his kids be unsupervised with his father.

    So, there was the agency – the dad’s refusal to act as his father did. But that doesn’t mitigate from the actual family culture, and the fact that some of the uncles became abusers, and the fact that grand-dad is talked about in whispers, and not dragged to the cop shop.

    So yes, individual agency, but I’m glad I’m not the only one to wonder at Tamihere family culture, and the different ways in which contempt for women and/or those more vulnerable than themselves may be manifesting.

    I don't have any idea what family dynamics drive John Tamihere's fucked witted ness. But may I suggest that the linear logic; Dad abuses the entire family = victims, which in turn must wear the stigma of being infected with abusive cycle germs, but with the exemption of the minority that my grab the bottom rung of the breaking the abusive cycle ladder, makes me a little angrier than my dyslexia.

    Atlantis • Since Nov 2006 • 4316 posts Report Reply

  • Martin Brown,

    That FB Roast Busters page which was up again is now down thanks to a call from a Kiwi director in LA to another Kiwi, Mark D'Arcy, who is now the Global CD of Facebook. He had it disabled immediately.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2013 • 136 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    a culture that facilitates what has happened, and I think that any talk about bad apples is a distraction

    I don't believe in the bad apples theory either, but I suppose it's easier for me to understand a "culture of cover your ass and protect your own" than a "culture of ignoring and blaming rape victims". As it is, it seems to be a little bit of the former and a lot of the latter in a toxic combination. So yay.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Danielle,

    Yes, the relief that the police are probably not corrupt, but instead just have no ability or will to deal with this kind of crime, is quite slight. Corruption's at least a good honest motive with a clearly identifiable villain. But to find that the real problem is that the processes and culture that the police have just really isn't up to stopping the Roast Busters from harming a large number of children, even after quite a few complaints, is actually worse. Considering how quick they are to take action outside of their powers over lesser offenses.

    That's one of the most galling things. I know that they often take action that is very frightening to people who they suspect of crimes. The action often amounts to persecution, and shouldn't be condoned, really. But FFS if it's happening anyway, couldn't it be directed to the most serious crimes, particularly the raping of children? People suspected of supplying drugs get this kind of thing all the time.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10633 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca, in reply to Kracklite,

    Rape is not merely forceful penetration, but permanent humiliation. In letting the Roastbusters Facebook page remain active (and it’s up again), the rape culture of the police continues the rapes.

    I refuse to be humiliated. I believe I have my parents to thank for giving me the life skills to know what is right and what is wrong and a voice to express that. I have continued to be disappointed with the NZ Police Force from actual experiences with them. They display questionable behaviour when it suits themselves.They are happy to tell outright lies to suit their needs. Always have. Hell, The NSW Police were an eye opener to me when I lived there and in the days of Joe Bjelke Petersen, Brisbane Cops had some dubious ways that friends of mine have experienced. At least everyone knew their behaviour was suspect. Here in NZ, peeps seem shocked when we get a glimpse of how the Force can be. This morning, they are still defending their behaviour, twisting words to sound as if they were concerned yet not once have they said sorry. Being raped is just one thing that I don't expect any help from the Police. They plainly don't like my looks. I've had it all my life so far. They don't surprise me any more. Sad but true.



    .

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite, in reply to Sofie Bribiesca,

    I refuse to be humiliated

    Sorry, I should have said "Intended to be permanently humiliating".

    That incompetent Marshall's statements translate as "Oh if only more victims had come forward so that we could slut-shame them and ignore them all over again" and make it plain that his first priority is to cover the collective arse of the blue gang so that he can keep strutting about in a shiny hat. Even Greg O'Connor, of all people, has kept his foot out of his mouth for an entire week (though I don't know how much longer he'll be able to restrain himself).

    And anyone who has the slightest morbid urge to read Karl Du Fresne's "thoughts", don't. They're downright evil.

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite,

    This is what that idiot and coward Marshall should be saying, and which he isn't:

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

  • Just thinking,

    It was suggested having a non-cop as commissioner on Q&A might be a solution. I don't know the answer to that as career Civil Servants are not always talented.
    These are the usual suspects for the next Commissioner and many seem to have been in a holding pattern for the top job for a while.
    http://www.police.govt.nz/about-us/structure/commissioners-executive-commanders

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report Reply

  • simon g,

    To Michele A’Court – thank you very much. You are a treasure.

    To Josie Pagani – Please read Michele’s words. She shows you how it can be done, while you’re just digging in deeper.

    Thanks.

    ETA links …

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/life/9383919/A-tough-week-to-be-a-woman

    http://www.pundit.co.nz/content/we-need-to-talk-about-rape-culture

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1324 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite,

    Well Marshall just tried to call me personally at my own home. I hung up immediately when he identified himself.

    Maybe he had naive honourable motives... but if that were the case, it's too little, too late.

    I find it personally disturbing that he can find out who I am and where I am. It's intimidating.

    They're definitely watching you. This is really scary.

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

  • Just thinking,

    What do you say to that?

    He ain't Peter Marshall, he's Big Brother.

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite,

    I'm frightened. This is terrifying. They know who you are, they're going to come after you.

    It was MY OWN FUCKING HOME!

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Kracklite,

    I’m frightened. This is terrifying. They know who you are, they’re going to come after you.

    It was MY OWN FUCKING HOME!

    I'm not surprised your upset. It is terrifying.

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2930 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite, in reply to nzlemming,

    Exactly - I've been critical of the police, but I've committed no crime. I'm no rapist, but now they know who I am and where I live and they want to scare me.

    I'd expect at least I'd have had two years' grace.

    Marshall can't pretend that he didn't know about the police rape culture in all the time he's been a cop. He knew, he let it happen and now he's trying to intimidate critics.

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Kracklite,

    Well Marshall just tried to call me personally at my own home. I hung up immediately when he identified himself.

    Are you serious? Did he ask for you by name or handle?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10633 posts Report Reply

  • Michael Stevens, in reply to Kracklite,

    That is appalling ! And surely it's illegal - oh wait - NZ Police, that sort of detail would be beyond them.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 230 posts Report Reply

  • Just thinking, in reply to Kracklite,

    Hi Kracklite,
    This is time to call a friend, walk on the beach or get roaring drunk
    I'm sure this will be followed up. Look after yourself.

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1158 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Kracklite,

    Well Marshall just tried to call me personally at my own home. I hung up immediately when he identified himself.

    Maybe he had naive honourable motives… but if that were the case, it’s too little, too late.

    It would still be inappropriate and ill-advised. Not to mention weird.

    Click the email link at the bottom of the original post and email me if you like.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22754 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic, in reply to Kracklite,

    And anyone who has the slightest morbid urge to read Karl Du Fresne’s “thoughts”, don’t. They’re downright evil.

    I'm reminded of the Howse brothers trial, when their mother basically invoked the uncovered meat card in their defence:

    After Peter's conviction for his three last sex attacks, Betty, then
    71, leapt to his defence, saying young women wearing short dresses
    were inviting trouble. "It's even the schoolkids going to school – no
    wonder they get raped or murdered. It's disgusting the way some
    mothers let their daughters go to school or walk the streets," she
    told one radio show.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5419 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite, in reply to BenWilson,

    He knew my name, my phone number and my home address.

    Just Thinking: drunk is my usual remedy. My Doctor's advised against it, however.

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to Kracklite,

    drunk is my usual remedy.

    Please don't . Contact Russell ASAP.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10633 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite, in reply to Russell Brown,

    Hi Russell, obviously they know who I am, but nonetheless, I don't want to call further attention to myself. Perhaps if you highlight this, you can do it in a more general way. I'll accept that Marshall was just being an idiot, but the fact that he can find out who I am and where I am is very sinister and should be highlighted.

    I don't want to be the news and understand why rape victims don't want to be either.

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 982 posts Report Reply

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