Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: A Slow Journey and a Quick Arrival

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  • Zippy Gonzales,

    Congratulations on your new New Zealander.

    I never knew 'lux' was a verb, more a (trademarked) noun. If someone wants to be paid for soaping Venetians, someone should take them to the Human Rights Commission for discrimination.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 186 posts Report

  • Deborah,

    He's beautiful. Congratulations to you and Jen.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report

  • Don Christie,

    Congratulations and good luck to all three of you.

    By the way, who won the naming competition? I don't remember Robert being on the list of submissions. Which is not to say Robert isn't a fabulous name, it is, of course, but I am still hoping for Nonu somewhere in the mix (Dan Carter having obviously played himself out of contention).

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1645 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    A lux is a unit of measurement of illumination. Perhaps Carl's speciality is illuminating visitors from Venice.

    I've often wondered if hospitals would have interwebs, so the news that Mr Brislen and Vodafone provided such a basic human requirement gratis, well, that warmed the cockles of me heart. Hooray for corporate niceness!

    But you know what warms the cockles of my heart even more? Namesake babies, that's what. Kia ora, li'l Bob.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    The warmth of your prose, your gentle, self-deprecating humour and basic goodness shine through as ever, David.

    Now, this:

    The first sign was Jennifer's dream (recounted to me by telephone early Friday morning) that Russell Brown had sent her a big parcel of cheese. According to Jennifer, the cheese was: "The most delicious cheese in the world".

    Is clearly an artifact of this post from my last visit to Christchurch, in which I describe the Cropwell Bishop Shropshire from Canterbury Cheesemonger as "a blue vein cheese of spectacular orange hue, which tasted like God's own marmite."

    If I say so myself, that's the sort of prose that could enter a woman's dreams. The dream-logic link to childbirth was clearly cemented by my use of nitrous oxide for research purposes.

    I feel proud to have played my small yet spooky part in the arrival of your lovely new child. When I feel confident about supplying a bright orange cheese with blue mould in it to a nursing mother, I will deliver the cheese.

    The fifth sign occurred on Friday evening, when I was raving to Jennifer about The L.e.d.s new album.

    You've got the L.E.D.s' new album? Bastard!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Jolisa,

    Oi Russell, you hussy. Where's my cheese?

    When I feel confident about supplying a bright orange cheese with blue mould in it to a nursing mother, I will deliver the cheese.

    And she will inhale it. I think listeria is only a worry during pregnancy; after that it's open slather. The only rule of thumb for nursing mothers I know of is "Can I eat it with one hand?" Oh, and "Try not to drip chilli sauce on the baby's face."

    There are important food safety rules for new Dads, though. Take a lesson from the friend of a friend who was making himself a delicious roast beef and dijon mustard sandwich, shortly after having changed the new baby's nappy. Noticed a stray blob of mustard on his hand and happily licked it off... only it wasn't mustard...

    Anyway, huge congrats Jennifer and David! He's gorgeous and that's a helluva classic birth story. I do hope all hospital-related excitement is over, so you can get down to the reassuringly boring stuff like broken nights and Plunket weigh-ins.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Way to go mum & dad! And son.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    Yeah - congrats to the whole family, and especially to Mum - aint nothing quite like seeing your kids being born (err, except for maybe being the one to actually do the hard work :)

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    Awesome! I have to say I was getting worried.

    Now the main concern is will the young man be a Rob or a Bob? Or maybe even a Robby or Bobby?

    ps. I have never heard of "lux", so figured it was one of the South Island words like "crib".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Ian MacKay,

    Actually, I don't know what all the fuss is about as after the births of our four children I can honestly say it doesn't hurt a bit. In each case I was able to walk around straight away afterwards. No sweat. And as a father I know it all.
    Congratulations Robert! Parents with a sense of humour must be winners!

    Bleheim • Since Nov 2006 • 498 posts Report

  • Brent Jackson,

    Congratulations. Great to hear that things are working out for you all.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report

  • Judi Lapsley Miller,

    Thanks for the update David - we've been wondering (worrying) about how you've all been getting on. Sorry to hear it's involved more hospitals, but hope that's all behind you guys now and you can get on with enjoying your wee one.

    Hugs!

    Judi

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 106 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Yeah - congrats to the whole family, and especially to Mum - aint nothing quite like seeing your kids being born (err, except for maybe being the one to actually do the hard work :)

    And I know which one I prefer ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    aw, congratulations. Before you know it, he'll be whipping your arse at chess (a rite of passage for men, I'm told) and stealing Jen's cheese to make 'a puppy'.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • jon_knox,

    Congrats...it must have been a very long month or so.

    The fourth sign was an exciting package from Paul Brislen at Vodafone.

    A public low cost/no cost wireless network (& perhaps the odd wireless laptop) for the wards in the public hospitals would be a great way for patients & their families to overcome some of the isolation that occurs at hospitals.... & great way to get some informed advice whilst waiting for a doc ;op

    Belgium • Since Nov 2006 • 464 posts Report

  • matthewbuchanan,

    Wonderful news David, very happy to hear all's well.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 163 posts Report

  • Paul Brislen,

    Thanks for the lovely words and great post...

    We never got to push the emergency button but I wasn't too worried - for me the BPU (button pushing urge) came with the new Auckland hospital lifts, which have an override button for very-pregnant-mothers-who-might-not-make-it-to-the-ward-otherwise. It even had a flap over it JUST LIKE A MISSILE LAUNCH BUTTON!

    Oh how I wanted to push that - never mind your urgent need to visit your granny on floor four, We're Having A Baby and You Can Wait!

    I can feel the urge even as I write, like an itch... maybe I'll just go up there now and have a go anyway. What can they do?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 200 posts Report

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    for me the BPU (button pushing urge) came with the new Auckland hospital lifts, which have an override button for very-pregnant-mothers-who-might-not-make-it-to-the-ward-otherwise.

    Heh - on that note Paul, some close friends of ours, who were prone to extremely quick labours, had their second child in the lift of the Randwick hospital maternity ward. Its a nice little family in-joke to call him 'Otis' occasionally.

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    some close friends of ours,

    Not to mention Ian & Jackie on the front page of the Dompost having to pull the car over beside the fowler centre, on their way to the maternity ward, to give birth to a little boy.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Neil Smart,

    Congratulations it is good to see a new generation

    I am glad to see not much has changed in 24 years. when our third child was born I told the midwife that, Sue my wife, had quick deliveries mostly within the first two having taken 4.5 and 3 hours.

    She gave me the sort of look that women reserve for men who have on an opinion outside their realm of knowledge.

    When the midwife came into the side room 1.5 hours later She went pale and fetched a wheelchair to whisk her into the delivery suite. Jessica was born 2 hours after we had arrived.

    This was following my urgent entraties that"something was happening" ............Just in time!!

    Since Nov 2006 • 71 posts Report

  • linger,

    Congrats David & Jen; and gudday Robert!
    As Dorothy Parker said on such an occasion, "We all knew you had it in you".

    Cheers,
    Robert (who doesn't even remember entering the "name the baby" competition)
    Random takes on previous responses:
    Hadyn: I'm guessing he's gonna end up "BbbobbB" a la Blackadder. Seems to happen to all of us at some stage.

    Paul: It's only natural for maternity wards to inspire pushing urges.

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1944 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Hadyn: I'm guessing he's gonna end up "BbbobbB" a la Blackadder. Seems to happen to all of us at some stage.

    And there I was valiantly resisting any 'it's short for Kate' comments...

    My daughter was a precipitate labour, I nearly had her in the corridor at Women's. She was born thirty minutes after we got out of the car. Afterwards, other midwives trooped in to say 'you're done already?' and 'hasn't she got a small head'. Never has the urge to punch someone in the face been so solidly combined with the inability to do so.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    Afterwards, other midwives trooped in to say 'you're done already?' and 'hasn't she got a small head'. Never has the urge to punch someone in the face been so solidly combined with the inability to do so.

    Heh - we (ahem - read: Pip) also tended towards short labours involving mad scrambles and reckless driving to make it on time, and it used to secretly irritate her aftewards being told how 'fortunate' she was being able to deliver kids so quickly ('get that will you Deirde'). As she points out, speed may be a factor, but you still have to get a 3 kilo sized object A out of pathway B - and doing it fast or slow mattered little at the time.

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    Sure speed might have mattered little at the time, but at least it was only a little time - I sat next to my wife during the 16 hours of the first labour and the 8 hours and caesarian of the second. I'm very sure she would have appreciated a bit more speed.

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    I'm very sure she would have appreciated a bit more speed.

    Well, true, which is why it was always more of a secret irritation :), because there were always other peoples labour horror stories to contend with, and the 'mine only took 90 minutes and there were no real problems' just didn't cut it.

    And on that note - I should stop there, because the politics of child-birth is powerful stuff thats beyond my ken.

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report

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