Southerly: Gerry Brownlee: “I Like To Knock Cats Off Tables”
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P.S. I’m currently working every second to get our house finished to a deadline (otherwise the council will take me for five grand), but I felt compelled to make this quick contribution in celebration of the 10th PA Anniversary. Well done Russell and everyone else!
You may be interested to know that this piece was composed while using a nail gun. It has taken a while for me to see humour in the current situation in CHCH, but the nail gun has helped no end.
Oh, and apologies if I don’t reply to messages. Sadly my eyes have gone bung, and I can’t read my computer screen anymore. Once I have a few moments I shall visit an optometrist and either my life shall be transformed or I will be declared legally blind (hopefully the former).
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I was going to say 'How can there be no comments to this? how is that possible! It is magnificent!' but then David whipped in there and commented himself. Frankly, I'm a bit disappointed.
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Oh, and good luck on meeting your housebuilding deadline David - I love that the council are adding extra challenges for you - and you upped the level of difficulty by multi-tasking with a dangerous implement! Do they give you extra points for artistic interpretation as well?
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You may be interested to know that this piece was composed while using a nail gun.
I now have a marvellous vision of David swivelling back and forth between nailing up interior walls and launching nails across the room at the keyboard. There's a remarkable lack of typos!
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I dont have personal experience, or any friends or relatives in ChCh. But watching from the "media" informed sidelines as it were. It may as well be knocking cats off tables as far as Brownlee &Co are concerned down there.
Sooo when do we get the stadium, the provincial championships, the tests matchs?
of this newly inaugurated, soon to be national pastime if someone has their way. -
you know you really don't want to get those new glasses ...... and then go home and see what you've been doing with that nail gun
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Sirriously - on a round table the cat has 360 degree vision - even while asleep - slab hands will be great to grip onto with well sharpened claws.
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Sadly my eyes have gone bung, and I can’t read my computer screen anymore.
Bloody hell! I hope that the optometrist can help.
Also, great column.
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Sofie Bribiesca, in reply to
Sadly my eyes have gone bung, and I can’t read my computer screen anymore.
And you have the nail gun? Step away from the nail gun and get to the optometrist. Excellent coffee break read David. I have been sending vibes to receive word from the Hay Haywood site, words and building progress. But , STEP AWAY FROM THAT PASLODE MAN!!! You have a family to think of. ;)
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Is it bad that all I can think of is that I'm jealous of David's nail gun. I just can't find a justification to buy one :(.
Look after your eyes mate, and your ears, those things are loud!
Surely we must have a PAS reader who is an optometrist who can make a house call to CHCH?
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As for Brownlee and the relationship with Fletchers, it's simply beyond belief. People are getting rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Maybe Fletchers is the only company able to do the jobs, maybe there is only one viable design, maybe all that land really does have to be cleared. But from this far away it is hard to believe.
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Its been a long time between drinks(posts) David but i understand why
I am seriosly envious of the nailgun because like Bart can not justify one
Keep safe -
Russell Brown, in reply to
You may be interested to know that this piece was composed while using a nail gun.
And van Gogh painted with a knife. Just sayin'.
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Surely we must have a PAS reader who is an optometrist who can make a house call to CHCH?
My optometrist uses about a tremendous amount of expensive heavy gadgets to test my eyes. Would require a van at least.
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Thanks for all the kindly comments, people!
RE: Nailguns
Of course, if you have TWO Paslodes then you can lend one to your son so that he can build shelves for your shed.
RE: Council requirements
The Selwyn District Council here are being pretty good in giving me a bit of leeway. Theoretically they could be taking vast sums of money off me right now. They're actually one of the few organizations that I've dealt with who have grasped that we are undergoing exceptional circumstances in Canterbury, and therefore exceptions should to be made.
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Sofie Bribiesca, in reply to
Of course, if you have TWO Paslodes then you can lend one to your son so that he can build shelves for your shed.
And, how good are those wee boys for getting up those chimneys. And they don't even cost nuffing or anyfing. :)
Those guns are fun not matter the age. -
Bart Janssen, in reply to
if you have TWO Paslodes
Now you're just teasing me!
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I have several nail-guns, I have a Paslode gas gun, a compressed air model manufactured by GMC, a pneumatic brad gun and a staple gun that can take staples up to 50mm long.
Hence all my cats are firmly affixed to their tables. Gerry can do his best, my pussies are staying put!. -
Emma Hart, in reply to
Once I have a few moments I shall visit an optometrist and either my life shall be transformed or I will be declared legally blind (hopefully the former).
Dude. Now. I don't want to be flip or anything? But it could be a tumour.
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Bart Janssen, in reply to
The Selwyn District Council here are being pretty good in giving me a bit of leeway
That is awesome. here they are so we can think good things about them.
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Paul Brislen, in reply to
BOB IS AWESOME can he come round and help at our place? What do you charge him out at?
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Rich of Observationz, in reply to
You could lend them to Whale Oil when they yank his firearms license.
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Tom Beard, in reply to
Oh is that what a Paslode is?! I just thought it was the name of a band.
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Steve Barnes, in reply to
I couldn't imagine anything worse that having to clean blubber off of a Paslode, they are quite fussy about the type of lubricant used in operation. Or were you talking about the cats?.
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10 Brownlee points for entertainment :) Coo!
(Most people probably know not to eat yoghurt while reading humour. I know this too. Now.)
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