Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Oh, Cock!

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  • Emma Hart,

    I guess it's a combination of a) I find the fact that the owners aren't given the choice really fucking disturbing

    Lucy, I think you'd have liked my midwife. She told me that if parents told her they wanted their infant son circumcised, she gave them the scalpel and told them to do it their own fucking selves. (Not, in case it isn't obvious, that she would have let anyone actually DO that, she just wanted them to confront the prospect of causing their child that much unnecessary distress themselves.)

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    Do you have a viewing preference for....

    I can't really answer this either, because the images I have in my head are all attached to specific people. And thus, my feelings aren't objective.

    However

    And probably more importantly than your specific answers, given discussions with friends, do you feel these preferences are widely held (in a given culture) or highly individual?

    Asolutely not. I mean, first of all, like I say we're not sitting there going "So, X had one that was this long, and this around". We're saying "it was surprisingly big. As in...."seriously?" And secondly, yeah, we're not all the same. We all like different things.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    The Dunedin nude rugby matches are far more akin to ballet than rugby.

    I'd love to see a picture of a maul , do they ruck? That would be dangerous.

    Surely Sport dictates a bit of strapping, some consideration for the todger.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Guys don't always have a complicated relationship with their cock.

    No. And although it's very sweet of Emma to write a blog post to help us feel better about our cocks, I think most guys are on good terms with theirs.

    Size does matter for guys: in any group situation it usually doesn't take long to sort out who the big swinging dicks are and a sort of hierarchy is established.

    Really? As a straight male I've never experienced that group dynamic.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22763 posts Report Reply

  • uroskin,

    TV3 footage of the Nude Blacks - Welsh Leeks match here.

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    Re: Nude Blacks

    What a brillant challenge to the haka. I think this should be on prime time saturday night sport.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Lucy, I think you'd have liked my midwife. She told me that if parents told her they wanted their infant son circumcised, she gave them the scalpel and told them to do it their own fucking selves.

    I'm a little bit in love.

    To put this in context, a guy I knew had to have a medical circumcision as a sexually-active adult and was quite vehement about the disadvantages thereof, including to his sex life. Ever since then I've been just furious that we as a society accept the genital mutilation of babies - as long as they're boys - without question. Sure, they might not know the difference - but there IS a difference.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Guys don't always have a complicated relationship with their cock.

    No. And although it's very sweet of Emma to write a blog post to help us feel better about our cocks, I think most guys are on good terms with theirs.

    But how would you know unless you have a good discussion with your friends about your respective peni? I think that Emma is very right. Peni/penises are not talked about in the same glowing terms as breasts are, and it is worth an examination of why for not. I think, Russell, judging from some comments on this thread that some men are certainly not on good terms with their bodies, let alone their penises. (and no, I am not typing this whilst a child is sitting cosily on my lap. I am ensconsed in the office.)

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    are certainly not on good terms with their bodies

    Certainly not, damned aging body and all its pathetic requirements.It keeps running out of hydration.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    I could be on better terms with my liver.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    The bell curve...

    You just have to be careful about
    pulling on it to hard.

    as many a young campanologist is told
    when learning the ropes...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7902 posts Report Reply

  • sally jones,

    Emma. Well said. "A cock looks nothing like as stupid as an ear."
    Why has it taken us this long to point it out?

    It's practically designed to be caressed

    Huh? No they don't get caressed. In the design stakes they get, and should be more than happy with, sucked. The penis is practically designed to be sucked but not caressed. My arse gets that. My arse is practically designed to be caressed.

    They can have tugged, maybe. Designed to be tugged.
    Tug boats might have something to say about that.

    Elaine: Well, the female body is a... work of art. The male body is utilitarian, it's for gettin' around, like a jeep.
    Jerry: So you don't think it's attractive?
    Elaine: It's hideous. The hair, the... the lumpiness. It's simian.

    Normally I'd agree. But I have to confess that I did marry my man for his body, albeit when I could still see it behind all the hair! But the lumps have always been okay by me. The best of the simians.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    But how would you know unless you have a good discussion with your friends

    We're not women

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19697 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    However. I have never in my life had a conversation with a female friend in which we compared the sizes of various men's genitalia. You guys care way more than we do.

    Opposite of my experience, not that it's necessarily any more repesentative than others.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19697 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    are certainly not on good terms with their bodies

    well my penis is fine but my bloody calves won't behave like they used to

    Size does matter for guys: in any group situation it usually doesn't take long to sort out who the big swinging dicks are and a sort of hierarchy is established.

    Really? As a straight male I've never experienced that group dynamic.

    Also never experienced that - not even as a nudist where it was clear to all

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4452 posts Report Reply

  • uroskin,

    What a brillant challenge to the haka. I think this should be on prime time saturday night sport.

    A sports channel finally worth watching and paying for?
    Notice too that rugby todgers are all pixillated. If sports fans at home are able to compare dicks on screen, it'd do wonders for all that size envy and feelings of inadequacy.

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

  • uroskin,

    As a straight male I've never experienced that group dynamic.

    I was only referring to my (gay male) experience. As they say, there are only two types of gay men: size queens and liars. Sexual success in my (admittedly untypical) part of the world is very much size related.

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    In the design stakes they get, and should be more than happy with, sucked. The penis is practically designed to be sucked but not caressed.

    Cool.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    In the design stakes they get, and should be more than happy with, sucked. The penis is practically designed to be sucked but not caressed.

    Though I don't think you'll find anyone objecting to either.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • sally jones,

    I meant in a universe where one had to choose - welcome to my world!

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    But how would you know unless you have a good discussion with your friends about your respective peni?

    Steady on woman. You'll be wanting us to talk about our feelings next.

    But seriously, do women sit around having good discussions about their fannies much?

    It's like uroskin said. Our feelings in this respect might be less complicated than you think ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22763 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    It's that old joke

    When we say we're thinking about nothing, we really are

    Really it's just another dangly wobbly bit - to go with all the other dangly wobbly bits - sadly there are more of those each year

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4452 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Our feelings in this respect might be less complicated than you think ...

    A survey by sexologists showed that many men who believed that their penis was of inadequate size had average-sized penises. Another study found sex education of standard penile measurements to be helpful and relieving for patients concerned about small penis size, most of whom had incorrect beliefs of what is considered medically normal. The perception of having a large penis is linked to higher self esteem in general, but also among gay men specifically.

    From here, for ease of the finding, as I have apparently deleted a couple of links to more discussy stuff I had. Also:

    Whereas 85% of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size, only 55% of men were satisfied with their penis size, 45% wanted to be larger, and 0.2% wanted to be smaller. Satisfaction did not vary across age groups from 18 to 65. Men reporting a larger-than-average penis rated their appearance most favorably, suggesting a possible confidence effect of perceived large penis size.

    But seriously, do women sit around having good discussions about their fannies much?

    Much? No. (Though we do of course have pillow-fights in our nighties and practice kissing on each other.) But vagazling (I have NO idea how to spell that), labial surgery, hair removal? Yeah.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    Though we do of course have pillow-fights in our nighties and practice kissing on each other.

    That's wicked in so many ways.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Distender is the knight...
    the wonders of hydraulics...
    a swell thing, sure to rise!
    coupled with elbow skin
    pendants to boot !
    (figuratively of course!)

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7902 posts Report Reply

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