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All White on the night | Nov 14, 2009 11:27

First of all, despite all of my planning and preparation I will not be at the All Whites game tomorrow. My accreditation was declined two days ago which was too late to purchase tickets (hindsight is a bitch).

However, Mike will be there taking photos from the sidelines so we're going to have some live coverage at least.

The promotion that everyone is talking about is of course the "All White on the night" which is much better wording than Dunedin's "We're all white down here" prior to a cricket test against the West Indies. The stores are doing there thing and Friday saw a large number of white t-shirts and jerseys being worn about the streets of the capital. Even Wynton Rufer was on TV last night ruining a new white shirt of his by writing a small "NZ" on the front in felt-tip pen. Yeah, go team!

And of course the Bahraini fans were out and about too. Easy spotted in red Puma uniforms. The Caketin might look a bit pink if the Bahraini fans spread out amongst the white.

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I had a few beers with Legbreak the other night and he told me about Iain O'Brien's issue with an article in the Hutt News. Here's O'Brien's twitter feed of the events (in chronological order):

has just had an article, featured in the Hutt News, read to him. Two very big misquotes. I'm onto the author about this & am very displeased

There is no way I'd hang up on somebody. No matter how pissed I was. And the next quote isn't close either... Feeling bad about it too!

Article found, 'print screened' (probably not legal) and here it is.... Did not hang up on Greatbatch......

......and the quote at the bottom of column one that continues into column two isn't not as I said it.

My guess is that O'Brien did say all of those things to the reporter basically because it seems like an odd thing to make up considering it's unlikely that you'll get another interview. The spelling mistakes and clumsy flow of the sentences suggest the quotes were recalled rather than transcribed ("If I have to miss out and were are a stronger New Zealand team that is fine – but that is not the case")

But really, O'Brien, if you said it (and unless I see a libel case I will believe that you did) then stand up for it! There was a time when fast bowlers were the swaggering gods of cricket. Gold chains bouncing of hairy chests, visible due to shirts that were open slightly too much. Loud and outspoken the fast bowler was the "bad boy" of cricket drinking daiquiris with the ladies rather than swilling beer with the boys.

Now he's someone who didn't hang up on Greatbatch. Or if you re-read that last tweet, "isn't not" as he said it.

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State of Disbelief | Nov 11, 2009 14:38

AnimFX NZ was a conference of visual effects, animation, games, and blowing your fucking mind! That's because in between the inspirational speakers, and the ones talking marketing (who were equal parts "real world" and "scary Mad Men shit") there were moments like this (YouTube clip removed until I figure out what's breaking Safari)

And as your brain was processing that, Paul Debevec would hit you with a metaphorical baseball bat called "One to Many 3d Video Teleconferencing". That thing you're seeing? Yeah, that's the goddamn future!

There were whole parts of the conference that were like DVD commentaries, where special effects artists tell you that what you just saw wasn't what you thought it was. They fooled you by bombarding you with pixels and what looked like a set dressed up as a spaceship was in fact a vacant lot with a black-cloth doorway standing in it.

You can forget suspension of disbelief. We're at a point now that you won't even know what to disbelieve anymore. Sure the giant monkey and the insectoid aliens are fake; but so are all the leaves blowing around and that mound of dirt and that plastic bag.

The most concrete things we were shown were sales figures. Digital downloads have an infinitely long tail, who knew? I'll have more on this at a later date.

Richard Taylor and Jeff Okun were perfect for the morning. Taylor waxing lyrical about Weta Workshop and Wellington ("This shaft of earth caught between sea and sky") and drawing real belly-laughs from his anecdotes. Okun filling everyone's heads with dreams about the future and how realtime digital feedback loops could mean that no two film screenings would be of the same film.

There were some parts that made me angry. They were mainly about marketing. If you are a child of the 70s/80s and you think it's cool to buy your kids the toys you used to have (Transformers, Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake) you are a "Heritage Parent" and they are targeting you. Here's the new Strawberry Shortcake.

See the new non-bespectacled skinny girls doing yoga and (probably) drinking lattes while an Avril Lavigne-style theme song plays. Yeah, that thing being violated is your childhood.

But John Stevenson's finale was amazing: Ray Harryhausen's Cyclops and Jim Henson's Kermit the Frog helped him to create Kung Fu Panda and the journey in between. To remember that the magic isn't all visual effects, it's also story and the love of the telling it.

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Who won the weekend? | Nov 09, 2009 12:49

It was a weekend for close wins and big hits. Down south it was a first half of swift offence and a second half of smothering defence. It the north it was high kicks and missed chances. And in the capital it was a huge comeback and solid hitting.

I got my first text about the Air New Zealand Cup final, it said: "Cant 7 Well 0. Try in 2nd min!" The next one said: "Did you want anymore updates? It's not good". So when I caught the replay the next day I was surprised how close the game was.

Canterbury played its slow game in the last 20mins or so and smothered the Wellington attack enough that they just ran out of time. I suppose you could call it negative rugby, but really they're out there to win, not to be the Harlem Globetrotters.

So congratulations to Canterbury, and here's hoping that you don't win again for a while because it's frankly, dull.

Then early Sunday morning on the other side of the world, someone thought it would a good idea to let a monkey handle the television coverage of Wales playing the All Blacks. Seriously what the fuck was going on with the sideline cameras, the tight shots, the replays shown while the game was on, the constant replaying of All Black infringements, and the out of focus shots? I don't think I have ever yelled "focus!" at the television before.

I should've guessed I was in for a treat when, in the middle of a montage of crowd shots during the Welsh anthem, there was a brief shot of what seemed to be the inside of a storeroom.

As for the game, it was alright I suppose. We won; we got in a lot of kicking practice (despite our brief runs being fairly successful); and Dan Carter got to be a "bad boy" for a day. Is he our Christiano Ronaldo now?

And didn't the All Blacks look disappointed when the Welsh didn't stand off against them like last time.

But really all the action this weekend was in Wellington (and I don't mean the Phoenix's last minute draw – still undefeated at home!). It was the final of the Richter City Roller Derby season.

The Big One lived up to all the hype in front of a crowd of just over 1,070. After the match we were fairly sure there were never the full 10 skaters on the track for more than a minute before someone was sent to the penalty box. Silken Dagger was the first one to go and in the first jam, too.

After that the first half was dominated by Brutal Pageant penalties the second half by Smash Malice penalties. Chaos reigned as nearly the entire team was sent off at one stage (four players out of five sent to the box at the same time). It was a massacre!

Smash Malice vice-captain M.E.O.W. was a good example. Out of the penalty box, she stormed through the pack and was sent straight back. If you think footballers yell at the referees, you should see derby girls argue. They like to make their feelings known (yes that is three members of Malice in the box at the same time).

At the half Pageant trailed by 20 points. I don't know what captain Lux Vengeance and coach Rita Anguish yelled at them, but in the second half they came out blazing and Malice had no answer.

The crowd roared when Pageant took the lead 101-100 with five minutes to go.

But this is where tactics played their part. Malice took two timeouts in a row, which deflated the momentum of Pageant. They regained the lead and held it to the end where there was some controversy. The clock showed time was up but there should've been enough for one last jam, Pageant who were out and ready to skate wanted to race but the refs called it.

Smash Malice are the Wellington champions for 2009.

Stand outs for me were: Tuff Bikkies against Silken Dagger as jammers – that was a heck of a battle; the rookie Lucy Jawgone (though I don't get the name, is it like Hugh Jorgon?); Perky Nah Nah – who has become a force on defence; and Goldie Scorn – a surprise re-entry (and not without some controversy).

I think it's fair so say this is a high-scoring speed league, so it will be interesting when they meet the Auckland team for the first intercity match on December 5th (at TSB Arena in Wellington). You'll want to be there.

Photos once again by the brilliant Mike Roseingrave and Jed Soane

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Entropy | Nov 05, 2009 10:18

The other day I was sent an interesting diversion via Twitter (what else is Twitter for?). It was a collection of West Ham's uniforms from 1895 to the present including any one-offs and throwbacks.

What's clear to see is entropy. That is, the uniform becomes more complex over time, with seemingly no way to reverse the complexity.

The 1895 Thames Ironworks (as West Ham began) was just navy from top to socks. The 2009-10 players will wear some kind of checked shirt, red-trimmed shorts and socks with a billion stripes on them. It's far from the worst uniform they've had (Pony and Bukta) but what ever happened to simplicity?

Have a look at Tottenham in 1898 and then track them through to today. They hit the '70s and it goes downhill fast. As Spurs supporter Rich Irvine pointed out: "how many ways can they ruin a white shirt?"

There seems to be a worrying trend in sports uniforms to make them "interesting" or "futuristic". The newer uniforms often have more panels and it seems the creators want each panel to be a different colour. And lines aren't always sharp and crisp anymore, they fade out, I assume this is to create a "speed blur".

Here is a chart you can refer to if you need to create a uniform.

The only type that's missing is the solid colour. Any sports team anywhere can rock the solid colour. The more detail you put in the more likely you're going to add something that people hate.

This is why I don't know what to think about the current trend in Pacific rugby. Samoa started it with a stylistic tatau on the right arm and shoulder. Then Tonga followed and now Fiji has a traditional mask pattern over the shoulder.

The Fijian change is arguably the most dramatic. They altered what was, in my opinion, one of the best and most recognisable rugby uniforms ever. (I have contacted the Fijian rugby team to ask why the move was made and how the design decisions were made. At the time of writing they hadn't replied, but I'll let you know if they do).

Of course you could argue that the All Blacks headed that way first. When adidas took over from Canterbury they brought in the sticky jersey material that had a vaguely moko/tribal tattoo look to it. The overt look was eventually dumped, but the new jerseys have the new embossed Fern emblem (look for them on the white jersey versus France in a couple of weeks).

And now the embossed look is definitely "in". England released its brand new Nike alternate kit. Note the embossed triangle pattern, I assume it's a grippy fabric and the asymmetry is because it's for a right-handed player.

It might be the first Nike rugby uniform that I've liked the look of. Except for the colour: a nice dark… purple?

Nike have been known to ignore traditional uniform colours in the past but this time "the purple kit has been roundly applauded for the traditions it evokes". That would be the tradition of England never having worn purple before but instead having (and I'm not kidding) a purple tracksuit.

I don't know how "roundly applauded" the jersey is considering the Telegraph has it in a photo gallery of "Worst Sports Kits".

But there is a line here. It is good to show national pride through a sports uniform, in fact that's pretty much why they exist. But if that creates something that the players feel stupid wearing then it defeats the purpose.

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Tomorrow I'm off to the AnimFx conference here in Wellington. It looks like it'll be one of those "every speaker fills your head with amazing ideas" type of conference. I love video games and I love special effects-filled movies, it's a match made in heaven. And I have heard that there are still some spaces available.

Then at lunch it's the launch of the Wellington Firebirds' new season. Is this the summer I report about cricket? We shall see.
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Finally a reminder that the last Richter City bout of the year is on Saturday at TSB Arena (7pm kick-off) and it's The Big One. Literally. The series is tied 1-1 between Smash Malice and Brutal Pageant. And none of these skaters like to lose. It's going to be intense.

And once again I have a double pass to give away. Just hit the "reply" button below and send me an email. I'll draw it tomorrow afternoon.

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