Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Wallywood

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  • recordari,

    From here...

    Page 17. Next time you watch a DVD, pause it 17 minutes into the film. Trust me—any film. What’s happening at that point in the story? Most likely, the essential character conflict has just been laid out. A teenage Indiana Jones runs to his father for help, but is shushed instead. Shaun convinces his girlfriend to trust him in Shaun of the Dead. Captain Renault asks Rick why he came to Casablanca. On page 17, your audience should realize what the film is really about. It’s not about finding the Holy Grail, Indy—it’s about learning to forgive dad!

    ...tick tock, tick tock.

    Yuss! I got us onto 16. Carry on.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • BenWilson,

    I wonder how many spend this much energy trying to decide whether movie A is "better than" Movie B?

    We're doing it now, so that when the end of the world comes, we'll know which DVD to grab. It is possible that may come sooner than the end of the debate, though. But hey, at least the decision will be partially informed.

    Was anyone else amused in The Day After Tomorrow when they had an agonizing discussion about whether they should burn Nietzsche to keep warm? Until someone else pointed out there were entire shelves of tax law they could safely warm up on first.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    Yep, that was what I was referring to as the 'break into act 2' a page or so ago.

    However, it's any film that tells a story. That has a narrative arc.

    If your film is intended to do something else, like set a mood, then a different set of standards apply.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Next time you watch a DVD, pause it 17 minutes into the film. Trust me—any film. What’s happening at that point in the story? Most likely, the essential character conflict has just been laid out.

    This reminds me of somebody I knew who pitched a screenplay to a producer in Rome and the advice he received by these two seasoned screenwriters is that he needed to kill a secondary character two thirds into the film. Now every time I watch an Italian film I wait for that to happen and guess what - it almost always does.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • recordari,

    Now every time I watch an Italian film I wait for that to happen and guess what - it almost always does.

    Formulaic? Funny thing about normative rules, an annoying percentage of people tend to follow them. Can't they think for themselves?

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    I'm waiting for New Zealand's Next Top Human to hit the screen soon.

    Already been done by some pointy-headed arty-farty foreigner:

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Formulaic?

    And how.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • philipmatthews,

    Formulaic? Funny thing about normative rules, an annoying percentage of people tend to follow them.

    Here's why ...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    He might be if you put a giant needle on his head.

    Aucklanders... sheesh.

    You got me there.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • BenWilson,

    Here's why ...

    That scene still makes me giggle.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Andre Alessi,

    Formulaic? Funny thing about normative rules, an annoying percentage of people tend to follow them. Can't they think for themselves?

    Some truly great writers have used formulaic scripts, though not always while showing their greatness. e.g.:

    (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe) is also noted for featuring early script-writing work from later Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski, Paul Dini of the 1990s Batman-fame, and David Wise, head-writer of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Here's why ...

    and then there's this
    as the minutiae tick by...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    You don't already have a USB port in your neck? Man, Dunedin is really the end of the Earth ...

    We're jumping over USB, straight into firewire. There's no way you could watch High Def Young Frankenstien with ancient USB.

    Next step, we're just going to plug the new Pacific Fibre straight into our little toes. Dude.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • BenWilson,

    and then there's this

    Strangely captivating. I found myself wondering how often I'd done these things. Again, one can't judge a blog by its title.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    Some truly great writers have used formulaic scripts

    Well, there's not necessarily anything wrong with the formula, just in the way it's applied.

    Not many people complain about the use of verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus in, for example, a Pixies track.

    If your formula is always to have 'a significant event' of some sort occur at the 2/3 point, that might be fine. but if you always apply the formula by having the significant event being the killing off of a secondary character, that probably isn't.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    Strangely captivating.

    Quite Zen, really.

    A series of koans which we can mediate on in order to find enlightenment.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Kumara Republic,

    We're jumping over USB, straight into firewire. There's no way you could watch High Def Young Frankenstien with ancient USB.

    At least until USB 3.0 becomes widespread.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5446 posts Report

  • Martin Lindberg,

    Already been done by some pointy-headed arty-farty foreigner

    Those Danes!

    Still, it's missing the all-important elimination aspect I demand from any Next Top <whatever>. But I suppose I can get all the elimination I need from Battle Royal

    Stockholm • Since Jul 2009 • 802 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    is Temuera Morrison becoming NZ's Ron Perlman? - he'll definitely have the same colouring as Hellboy in Green Lantern (Red) and all that time under a mask in Jango Flett...
    and he probably won't be in it long unless they do an extensive back story (Caution plotspoiler: as it's his crash and death that passes on the ring to Hal Jordan...)

    and will Taika Waititi make a good inuit?
    and will they still call him Pieface - assuming he has the role of Thomas Kalmaku, sidekick and Boswell to Hal Jordan's Samuel Johnson...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    A series of koans which we can mediate on in order to find enlightenment.

    yes, one must resolve the conflict in chaos
    to illuminate order...
    but as it's St Patrick's day I'll be having some
    of dem medi-taters ...
    to be sure!

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • recordari,

    PreJack

    Ha! Call me formulaic now!
    (Irony tag revival)؟

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Ha! Call me formulaic now!

    gullible then?
    or is it gulliberal...
    :- )
    or if yer in paté mode
    Gull Liver's Travails...

    ...you want crackers with that?

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • recordari,

    I'm insulted. Huntley Palmers or Arnotts?

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • philipmatthews,

    Ha! Call me formulaic now!

    Quite liked that actually. Sort of reminded me of Yes' Tales from Topographic Oceans but without Jon Anderson singing -- in other words, a vast improvement.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2007 • 656 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Huntley Palmers or Arnotts?

    Animal Crackers, Shirley?

    or if you prefer a more mad cap socialist take
    - The Marxists:

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

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