Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: What it don't get, I can't use.

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  • Kyle Matthews,

    I know I'm late to this, but ... Johnny English???

    Seriously. For all the great comedy that Rowan Atkinson has done (admittedly , not much in movies), he chose that?

    I guess we're lucky he didn't choose "Hot Shots Deux".

    Since Nov 2006 • 6201 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Here's a possible Friday afternoon bit of fun: you are a media manager for Key (or Helen Clark). They've been asked to pick their favourite book, but they're too busy in Parliament and delegate the job to you. Yikes! What would you pick to convey the right image of your boss? Something local, not too edgy, not too niche? What would it be?

    so many possible joke answers, so I'll go straight

    Clark: "Fou de fa fa" by Flight of the Conchords
    Because it's believable and earns brownie points.

    Key: "Fast Car" by Tracey Chapman
    You don't expect it but then you think about and think "yeah it could fit".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Yikes! What would you pick to convey the right image of your boss? Something local, not too edgy, not too niche? What would it be?

    Key: Absolute Power
    Clarke: The Hollow Men

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    "Does rather beg the question though - with all his dosh why doesn't Key already have a private jet? Lack of ambition?"

    Key might be rich but this is burn your money rich.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • dyan campbell,

    Well how about a little philosophy from one of the more interesting (sadly now late) Americans, John Kenneth Galbraith

    John Kenneth Galbraith is an interesting late Canadian.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    They've been asked to pick their favourite book

    Clark: "Fou de fa fa" by Flight of the Conchords

    Key: "Fast Car" by Tracey Chapman

    And then I get fired for picking songs, not books

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2081 posts Report Reply

  • Mike Pepper,

    Listening to John Key does anyone else get the feeling that he's constantly getting caught out by his need to crack funny. I'm sure (his attempts) at deadpan wit served him well in big trouser corporate land but not he's a politician it feels like his undoing. You can just imagine his inner dialog seconds after he said "a personal jet'...

    "That was pretty funny...oh shit, no one knows I'm joking again...oh shit there is truth in humour...oh shit, abort joke, abort joke!!"

    Auckland • Since Jul 2008 • 1 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    You can just imagine his inner dialog seconds after he said "a personal jet'...

    With apologies to Homer SImpson:

    Inner Monologue: Don't say "Personal Jet". Don't say personal jet. If you say "personal jet" I'm outta here!

    JK: "Personal Jet"

    Inner Monologue: That's it! I'm outta here! (footsteps recede & door slams)

    Since Nov 2006 • 2074 posts Report Reply

  • Gabor Toth,

    The two privious Jewish PMs of NZ were the forever forgotten Francis Bell (Mum was Jewish but converted to Christianity)

    He's not that forgotten as actually his name is remembered when ever this company (which he helped found) is mentioned. He would probably rank as one of our most intelligent PM's - it's just that he preferred his books and legal cases to being PM (and also being a judge - a position which he also turned down several times). He was also a well respected Mayor of Wellington where he helped drive forward the introduction of a sewage system (against the wishes of folk like Charles Plimmer who believed dumping cartloads of "nightsoil" into the harbour on a daily basis would be much cheaper...), and established the formal reporting of legal cases in NZ (which continues to this day through the NZ Law Reports which have been published annually since 1881)

    Wellington • Since Dec 2006 • 120 posts Report Reply

  • Gabor Toth,

    Oh crap - I meant this company

    Wellington • Since Dec 2006 • 120 posts Report Reply

  • Thom James,

    'Course, if you gave Winston a billion dollars he'd just deny you ever did...

    Auckland • Since Apr 2007 • 63 posts Report Reply

  • Kirsten Brethouwer,

    When explaining to a mocambican friend that the PM of New Zealand in comparison to theirs does not have a motorcade with 7 mercedeses and does not require the red carpet to be rolled out every time she flies somewhere, and no does not have a private jet but flies commercial airlines...

    the answer was stunned silence followed by: I didn't know New Zealand was such a poor country.

    Having a private jet for a prime minister is not joining the first world.

    Waiheke Island • Since Nov 2006 • 35 posts Report Reply

  • Graeme Edgeler,

    I know pedantry was the focus of another Island Life, but ...

    He was also a well respected Mayor of Wellington where he helped drive forward the introduction of a sewage system

    ... I think you mean sewerage system. Man, when I found out that the difference wasn't just American English vs. British English, you better believe I was surprised.

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3009 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Maybe this should go as a spelling tip over in the Readers' Tips system... sewage is the shiat, and sewerage is the system that ca*rr*ies
    such stuff away. A sewer is part of a sewerage system and should not be confused with a sewer (one who sews...)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Yamis,

    Sewerage has nothing to do with anything. If you're good enough to sew your'e old enough to sew in my books. Or my socks.

    Since Nov 2006 • 876 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Heh!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    Yamis, you've stitched your self up, better say sorry to Islander. You could be sued.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2751 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Double heh! Best wordplay star award-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Skinny,

    Exactly which charities does John Key financially support? I have often wondered...for a man so wealthy...does anyone know, or has it been declared anywhere?

    Wellington • Since Aug 2007 • 8 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Key: "Fast Car" by Tracey Chapman
    You don't expect it but then you think about and think "yeah it could fit".

    I had just read this when I saw that

    Where does a junkie’s time go? Mostly in 15-minute increments, like a bug-eyed Tarzan, swinging from hit to hit. For months on end in 1988, I sat inside a house in north Minneapolis, doing coke and listening to Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” and finding my own pathetic resonance in the lyrics. “Any place is better,” she sang. “Starting from zero, got nothing to lose.”

    Apt?

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4869 posts Report Reply

  • simon g,

    JK music taste update (courtesy of the fearless Herald investigative unit):

    Brooke Fraser. He bought a CD.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 782 posts Report Reply

  • JP Hansen,

    I can't find a clip on youtube, but Jaquie Brown totally stitched Key up during the NZ Music Awards last year (or NZ Music Month or something). She asked what NZ CD was his favourite, and he said the new one by Brooke Fraser.

    Clarke then asked what songs in particular he liked on it. And he said "Uhh. Umm. All of them, they're all great. Ahh, I don't really know the song titles, you know just that they're good" - or words very much to that effect.

    Waitakere • Since Nov 2006 • 200 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Actually giving away money is not as easy as it looks

    Of course you can give it to"development agencies offering education and opportunity and campaigns against HIV and AIDS in developing countries"

    Which sounds good but if that is really short hand for the UN

    Which sounds a bit bumlikky considering This

    A number of other potential candidates were mentioned by commentators but did not run, including Bill Clinton (former President of the United States), Helen Clark (Prime Minister of New Zealand if not re-elected in 2005),

    And the
    Women Candidates for United Nations Secretary-General September 13, 2006

    And This

    National would be willing to support any bid by Prime Minister Helen Clark to become United Nations Secretary-General, leader Don Brash said yesterday.

    "It is clearly in New Zealand's wider interests to have New Zealanders in those kinds of international positions so we would certainly want to be as constructive as we could be," he said.

    He was commenting after Weekend Herald columnist Fran O'Sullivan suggested speculation was building in foreign affairs circles about Helen Clark as a possible contender and that she may have sought the support of British Prime Minister Tony Blair.

    Woops. I think I still have the Foil Hat on from another thread.

    The wireless north ;-) • Since Dec 2006 • 4869 posts Report Reply

  • st ephen,

    You can just imagine his inner dialog seconds after he said "a personal jet'...

    I always found Don Brash's inner monologue quite endearing every time he was asked a leading question by some devious journo:
    "Wait on, I'm smart! I 'm sure I know this one! And when I get it right, everyone will see how smart I am!" .
    "Lousy politician" isn't such a bad insult...

    On the other hand, he was rightly castigated for wanting to be PM of our nation but not being interested enough to read Michael King's History. Judging by Key's recent response regarding his own reading matter, I wouldn't be at all surprised if it turns out that there is a piss-taking PAS reader on his staff...

    dunedin • Since Jul 2008 • 204 posts Report Reply

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