Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Late for What?

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  • Juha Saarinen,

    The Army News correspondent wrote on the JourNZ mailing list of the time she snapped a picture of young girl down in Linton somewhere. Mum was happy with that, and asked what publication it was for. Hearing it was Army news, Mum asked if the correspondent could use only the second part of the girl's name, Kaidah:

    " I had a look at the name she had spelled for me and realised what it
    would sound like when spoken - in all their wisdom, this wee girl's
    parents had named her Alkaidah."

    On a different note, I am somewhat discombobulated by the incredible popularity of David. I responded to a thread on David Farrar's blog, in which David Herkt had posted as well, joined by David Cunliffe's press secretary David McLoughlin. From memory, neither of Davids Haywood and Slack joined in, which was lucky really.

    Some balance is required here, I feel. Doesn't Goliath Haywood have a great slinging ring to it?

    Since Nov 2006 • 523 posts Report Reply

  • Felix Marwick,

    All I can say is I'm now glad the prominence of a certain cartoon show is not what it once was. People under the age of 25 tend not to know it.

    Oh and I too own the google search for my name. I really doubt there's anyone out there that shares my full name

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 194 posts Report Reply

  • Venetia King,

    Kim wrote:

    Years ago a newly pregnant friend was told by her father-in-law to read the death notices in The Times to get ideas for her baby's name.

    My parents found my first name in an obituary. They tell me the former holder had died at a ripe old age and was clearly much loved. I always thought that was pretty cool.

    I agree with Hansel - having a unique name is a good thing, regardless of any harassment you might get or mis-spellings and mispronunciations. I've been called Vanessa, Virgina, Juanita, Anita, Venita... and making people get my name right has been a kind of assertiveness training for me over the years. The other kids in school will find something to tease you about even if you have a completely ordinary name (I'm sure if I hadn't been Venetian Blinds I would've still been the Robot Reader!).

    Mind you, there are unusual names, and then there are ones that aren't really names at all. I once had to process a form at work for a family who had named their child PSA Solidarity. If you're out there PSA, I'd love to know what people call you nowadays.

    Finally, congratulations to you David - I suspect that those of us who miss Jolisa's tales of the BusyKids can now look forward to some more great writing on early parenthood :)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 103 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    Hey Venetia (great name! truly great name!)... I'm still lurking out here, just trying to snaffle the time to write it all down. If that non-napping Busybaby wasn't half so damn busy I'd be posting daily, no shortage of material.

    But maybe this is the incentive I need to jump back in. If only to frighten David with more tales from the front lines :-)

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1410 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    please do, Jolisa - even those of us without kids are missing your writing, and I, for one, am dying to know how your big boy is.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    one thing you'll never be is bored. but meanwhile, find a copy
    of momus' i hate his majesty the baby and indulge for a few months. opening verse:

    Just don't go near Nirvana's In Utero ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18703 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    But maybe this is the incentive I need to jump back in. If only to frighten David with more tales from the front lines :-)

    please do, Jolisa - even those of us without kids are missing your writing, and I, for one, am dying to know how your big boy is.

    It would be great if you can jump back in, Jolisa. The lack of female voices (Tze Ming Mok aside), in the blog posts, is something I really notice.

    But I do understand, from the inside, just how difficult it is to balance work and partner and children. Something has gotta give, and best that it isn't your children or your partner.

    Manawatu City • Since Nov 2006 • 1303 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Thanks for the kind words! All joking aside, we are incredibly pleased and happy. Although, admittedly, there is also a very large dollop of panic.

    We found the best panic moment was coming home from the hospital with #1: What!? Us? Look after a tiny, vulnerable human? Surely, some mistake!

    Having #2 at home was cool though. Everyone else buggered off and we were left to enjoy our new, 33.3% larger family.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18703 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    Ooops - of course, the other female voice around here is Fiona's.

    Manawatu City • Since Nov 2006 • 1303 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Ooops - of course, the other female voice around here is Fiona's.

    And she is earnestly promising not to go MIA for four months again ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18703 posts Report Reply

  • David Slack,

    We found the best panic moment was coming home from the hospital with #1: What!? Us? Look after a tiny, vulnerable human? Surely, some mistake!

    My moment was the afternoon we left North Shore hospital with our tiny delicate bundle sleeping in the car carrier. Every car and truck on the road was a menace. It felt as though it took about three days to get her home safely.

    These days she enjoys it when it's her and Dad in the car because we listen to the loud music.

    Devonport • Since Nov 2006 • 599 posts Report Reply

  • Venetia King,

    even those of us without kids are missing your writing

    Heh, fair assumption but no kids here either. I just enjoy reading about other people's :)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 103 posts Report Reply

  • Lisa Clist,

    I'm all for original names, to a point. It does get confusing when there are 31 Daves or Davids at my (admittedly large) work. I did a quick check and there are 33 Steves, 24 Andrews, 17 Richards, Pauls and Chris/Christines and in my department of 10 people there are 3 Catherines.

    in foreign lands • Since Jun 2007 • 3 posts Report Reply

  • Juha Saarinen,

    Then again, it has to be said that original naming is a highly inefficient practice that should be discouraged. Having all those strange first and last names, not to mention middle ones and weird honorifics causes a huge amount of extra work for the authorities.

    It really is time to stop all that wast of time and effort.

    I say, let's regulate the supply of names. First, the Standard First Names can be the current top ten male or female ones. To ensure compliance with the SFN policy, automatic deed polls will be applied to standardise naming in the populace.

    Clearly, there will be some individuals who for whatever reason desire to be different. That's fine, but they are a burden to society and should pay their way. Therefore, they can obtain Personalised First Names from a registered supplier at say $500 each for time-limited ones, or $50,000 for life-time monikers. As there is a limit to human naming imagination, a system whereby PFNs are priced according to how many are allowed them could be introduced.

    Peters could could for instance be made available to say 100 people for less money than ShaFlondas which only five people can have.

    Changes to the Last Names would also be required to derive maximum efficiency benefits. LNs should be replaced by serial numbers, possibly in hexadecimal notation. We can't use barcodes quite yet, not until they teach people to read them at school, so that'll have to wait for Version 2.0.

    Thank you for your time. Please vote for me in the next election - I'll be running for the Antipodean Technocrat Party.

    Since Nov 2006 • 523 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Heywood Heihei Haywood-Hay

    Priceless - Congrats David! I can offer no advice, I got what you wished for, a child at 5 years old - I have no idea what they're like earlier than that.

    Meanwhile - odd names I have met

    Rick Shaw
    Richard Head
    The Tata brothers, Rata & Te Pom.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2073 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    Don't be silly Juha

    Clearly the naming thing has done it's dash.

    In this modern world a simple alphanumeric code is all that's necessary. I suggest 2 or 3 letters followed by 4 or 3 numbers (keeping the data entry field constant size would be most helpul).

    And with such a system there would simply be no point in allowing people to choose identifiers for themselves. A central authority could assign identifiers once birth was confirmed.

    I guess there would be potential for some cost recovery by allowing people to choose a particular combination of letters and numbers, for a significant fee, providing they stuck with the constant data entry field size.

    Pronounciation would be no more difficult than current naming conventions.

    cheers
    Bart

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3261 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    If it's a boy how about

    Ernest Maurice Alan

    It would be a lot to live up to

    cheers
    Bart

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3261 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Rowe,

    Oh and watch the out for the pains of spelling!

    When we lived in South London a colleague of my wife's named her child Aiden. She liked Hayden, but figured everyone would just call him 'Ayden anyway. Say it like chav, it's more funny.

    I spent my entire school career with a nice chap named Owen Moore, which seems apt for me the older I get...

    My sister named her third boy (is that karma?) Charlie D, which makes him Chuck D in my house.

    My wife was also at school with Benson & Hedges, how about that?

    My three kids all have three names, plus their mother's, plus mine (not double-barrelled or hyphenated). It's a bitch filling out passport applications.

    Lake Roxburgh, Central Ot… • Since Nov 2006 • 558 posts Report Reply

  • Kim Griggs,

    I did just recently stop a friend calling her son Huck. I tried to point out as diplomatically as possible that Huck King wouldn't really work in a New Zealand playground.

    The other tried and true test --to see if your chosen name is of its time, try calling it out in your local supermarket.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 18 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    When we lived in South London a colleague of my wife's named her child Aiden. She liked Hayden, but figured everyone would just call him 'Ayden anyway. Say it like chav, it's more funny.

    2005, I think it was, four of the top five boys' names in the States were Aiden, Hayden, Jaiden and Kaiden. Originality is over-rated.

    Ernest Maurice Alan

    It would be a lot to live up to

    Ernst Stavros Blofeld, now THERE's a name to live up to...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4340 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Rowe,

    A friend was going to name her son "Holden", not cos she's Australian (she is), but cos of that famous book.

    She ran it past my 11-year old nephews who agreed it was a nice name, but confirmed he would definitely get teased about it in later years.

    Lake Roxburgh, Central Ot… • Since Nov 2006 • 558 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    My older son's preschool class had four Connors, one of them a girl.
    the younger one's class had a girl-Taylor and a boy-Taylor.

    I personally wasn't that impressed with Jeremy as a name at school, but I've come to appreciate the balance between rarity and recogniseability - there's rarely more than one or two other Jeremy's around any school or workplace I've been in, but its not different enough to elicit comment about its oddness.

    OTOH, if I had a buck every time someone has asked me "is that with a J or a G?" I'd ... still have spent it all by now.

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 840 posts Report Reply

  • Nobody Important,

    if God existed he would surely strike dead a woman who names her offspring Padmé & Anakin

    Come on DH, you've kept this up long enough - time to come clean. You made it up - used a bit of 'literary liscence' - surely no-one could seriously name their children that?
    Omigiddyaunt!!!!

    expat • Since Mar 2007 • 319 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    NI, I believe him.
    I overheard a woman in Pak N Save telling off her daughter (I presume it was her daughter) "Sativa, you stop poking your brother!".

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 840 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    My daughter went to primary school with a Galaxy (female).

    I keep hearing stories, sadly apocryphal, of children named Meconium (male) and Chlamydia (female).

    Years ago, I worked on a university enrolment system. The production database included a Ghengis Cohen. And some who (by deed poll rather than parent, I think) was known as Ocean Sunflower Africa Springsteen.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2936 posts Report Reply

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