Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: We are all twatcocks now (updated with prizes!)

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  • Juha Saarinen,

    Shouldn't that be "vuvuzuela" up there?

    Oh, and First Post!

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Juha Saarinen,

    Shouldn't that be "vuvuzuela" up there?

    No, although about half the English speaking population in the world somehow felt that it needed to rhyme with Venezuela on account of their complete inability to comprehend that foreign languages are not all alike in their non-Englishness. I've found that a lot more irritating than the sound of the damn thing.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    See, I like twatcock (rhymes with stopwatch) but I've never used it aloud (other than in a discussion about the word itself). I consider it more a PA System meme than a word that's entered the vocabulary of New Zealand English.

    Let's check back in a year and see how far twatcock's bi-sexual reach has spread. Rofflenui, anyone?

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,

    Rofflenui, anyone?

    Twitter encourages the shorter "roflnui" instead, for me. I checked its usage recently on another thread. And behold the similarly-limited spread of the other variant. Not that I'm biased :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19683 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    News of the win attracts one sceptical response from the local twitterverse.

    twatcock? @publicaddress has jumped the shark

    And a twitter search shows it has already been hurled at Sarah Palin and Bob Jones.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19683 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    I am so glad, being not so much scatological as profane in nature (thankyou Ben) that twatcock has taken it's proper place in our vocabulary. Fantastic word. Although I was a little disappointed to see that vajazzling scored the lowest.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,

    I consider it more a PA System meme than a word that's entered the vocabulary of New Zealand English.

    Not that there's anything wrong with that right? I for one would be pretty disappointed if we chose commonsensical but soul-sapping words like credit crunch every year. What are we, Herald readers?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Bruce Thorpe,

    I have only become aware of the word in this column and was not sure of how it should be said, and had no idea who had ever used it. Hardly the word of the year in my universe.

    Hokianga • Since May 2007 • 51 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __,

    It has eluded well-meaning but foul-mouthed PC liberals for decades

    ambipudendral insult

    Gold! :-) Now let's see how twatcock does at large in the community...

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Bruce Thorpe,

    You can't please all the people all the time, eh Bruce? Never mind, love. The rest of us will use it enough to make up for your distaste for it.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Bruce Thorpe, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    No distaste here, just a sense of HN and me drifting apart over time.

    Hokianga • Since May 2007 • 51 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    I thought Bruce's was a fair enough response. But then so was Giovanni's..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19683 posts Report Reply

  • Ben McNicoll,

    Can I change my vote to "ambipudendral"?

    Grey Lynn • Since May 2007 • 115 posts Report Reply

  • Heather Gaye,

    Has someone sent the press release to Dan Savage yet?

    Morningside • Since Nov 2006 • 532 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Ben McNicoll,

    Can I change my vote to "ambipudendral"?

    It's a fucking stunner, isn't t?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22749 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Can I change my vote to "ambipudendral"?

    On reflection, that should be "ambipudendal": the "r" crept in by analogy to "ambidextrous", but it really doesn't belong in pudenda. So to speak.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    See, I like twatcock (rhymes with stopwatch)

    Not that I want to return to the pronunciation debate, but I heard it as rhyming with "hatblock" when I wrote it. That may just be because I'm English, but the UK sense of the word "twat" (as a general insult somewhere on the offensiveness scale between "twit" and "wanker', rather than specifically genital in reference) also seemed about right for the context.

    But we should defer to Stephen Judd for the pronunciation, since his was the "twat" in question. So to speak.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Tom Beard,

    On reflection, that should be “ambipudendal”: the “r” crept in by analogy to “ambidextrous”, but it really doesn’t belong in pudenda. So to speak.

    On the contrary, ambipudendral has a nicely hermaphroditic ring. So to speak.

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    Bonus points for the first use of twatcock in the wild - i.e. overhearing a stranger use it in public, e.g. at the supermarket.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    Steve Kilgallon effectively says, "take that, twatcocks!' to the so-called anti-PC brigade...

    Like any good PR man, the kingpins of the "PC gone mad" tribe have subtly built this campaign against a concept that never existed on a fine tissue of outrageous lies, published in in-house journals like Britain's Daily Mail newspaper. The tales of the European Union insisting all bananas must be straight. Schoolteachers changing the lyrics of "Baa Baa Black Sheep" to "Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep", and the blackboard becoming the chalkboard. Travellers beheading ducks and eating them.

    They're all rubbish, but 1984 has finally come to pass: we're all stupid enough to believe them.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5416 posts Report Reply

  • Christopher Nimmo, in reply to Kumara Republic,

    It strikes me that the two most intelligent columnists in the SST are both nominally sportswriters (Stephen Boock and Kilgallon), which seems like a terrible waste. The SST should really swap the roles of Boock and Michael Laws, whose tripe would be perfectly suited to the Sports section.

    Wellington • Since May 2009 • 97 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,

    e.g. at the supermarket

    but Thordon doesn't count, right?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19683 posts Report Reply

  • recordari, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,

    I overheard myself using, but guessing that doesn't count either.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    I am going to use it as much as I possibly can, out in the wider community, from now on. Hey, it's the holidays soon, and I can be as profane as I want. Huzzah!

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Anonymous Author,

    given the amount of twatcockery that has pervaded 2010

    So right. So very, very right.

    Hooray for twatcock; may it fit as snugly into the annals of modern vernacular as a digit fits a fingerless glove.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2010 • 64 posts Report Reply

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