Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Confessions of a Social Retard

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  • Russell Brown,

    So I'm an INFJ, whose description at ... seems to be pretty much on the button.

    Did I mention that pre-employment psych tests are something else I loathe?

    But the intuition part of that description is interesting. I think I synthesise a point of view on large or complex bodies of information more quickly than most people, and I'm generally not totally wrong. And I best do so alone.

    OTOH, I cannot, and have never been able to, keep a simple appointments diary.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22759 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Heh. I don't even do that ...

    You have people doing it for you, which is worse! Maybe I could get somebody to use an iPhone for me.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Tim Michie,

    Now, how is it inarticulateness when you write

    They could even smoke in an English accent

    and I've an image immediately to mind..?

    Auckward • Since Nov 2006 • 614 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    Is it spring already, or something? Sure seems hot in here.

    Um, no - we got our first snow of the season this morning .....

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2609 posts Report Reply

  • Lea Barker,

    "In the same way, I found working retail in my youth very helpful -- social interaction with dozens of complete strangers every day, but social interaction with parameters very clearly defined in advance(they're here to buy stuff; I'm here to sell it to them)."

    You hit the nail on the head there, Josh. I'd go even further to say that there has to be an actual physical barrier between other people and me for me to be comfortable. I'd be a terribly chatty bridge toll taker, I should think, sitting in my little hut full of self-importance and bonhomie.

    And "Did I mention that pre-employment psych tests are something else I loathe?"... Russell, I totally agree with you. And this was even more egregious because there are several positions coming vacant where I work, and they're trying to juggle people around instead of advertising the positions and getting the best candidate. Using a daft psych test to do it is absurd.

    Oakland, CA • Since Nov 2006 • 45 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    dancing was a metaphor for sex there

    And 'She Bop' is about wanking, right? Those 80s popsters! So risque!

    (Very pro-dancing over here. You could probably guess that.)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __,

    Reminds me of that old joke, "Why don't Fundamentalists have sex standing up?"
    Answer: "Because it might lead to dancing."

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    And 'She Bop' is about wanking, right? Those 80s popsters! So risque!

    But Billy Idol's Dancing With Myself, that IS about wanking, right?

    Also pro-dancing. For my 21st birthday I made four C90 mix-tapes, and danced every single song.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic,

    And of course, there's the popular myth about The Vapours' Turning Japanese...

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5423 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    David - I've never noticed you being particularly socially awkward but then I've only met you in the kind of circumstances where my internal monologue is veering between "shut up, shut up shut UP" and "for god's sake say something before they think you're sulking". I worry about putting people off with puppy-like over-eagarness so much that I suspect I come across as rather aloof instead.

    I have rarely had a problem having male friends although I have to admit that the sex thing happened a time or two. My partner was my best friend for five years before we got together (he still is) and several of my dearest friends are also people-I-used-to-shag so I don't think it ruined anything.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    Does that mean the Divinyls I Touch Myself is really about dancing then?

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Will there be dancing at the PAS blend? I may even reschedule if there's dancing. God that Into the groove track telegraphed me back to Keely's (?) in 1985, under the building where Gopals used to be. Now the big multiplex. 2 dollar vege dinner and cheesy dancefloor mayhem. Them were the days.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    But I just practised and now everyone thinks I like people. I don't really, except the ones I do.

    Ha! Like how my tattooist t'other night said (with a wonderful qizzical look on his face) "your friend's interesting Sof. On perusing the deck, I knew he was talkin' 'bout you girl.
    I'm now 24. I plan to tell all my friends, that Sacha's brother said so.
    Edit. All my friends are interesting with all their quirks.That's why I like them.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Will there be dancing at the PAS blend? I may even reschedule if there's dancing.

    Ah, well ...

    There will be dancing, because there will be a certain Mr Simon Grigg playing DJ, in a specially-constructed nightclub space. He'll also talk about stuff on stage. And there's more!

    Also, the date is now Friday, Sept 10. We had to move it back a week to avoid a very eventful week the one before. We'll be seeing you, then?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22759 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    a! Like how my tattooist t'other night said (with a wonderful qizzical look on his face) "your friend's interesting Sof. On perusing the deck, I knew he was talkin' 'bout you girl.

    Yes, well. Hmmm. What can I say? I did rub the belly of the young man with him, so my work was done. Several times over.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Also, the date is now Friday, Sept 10. We had to move it back a week to avoid a very eventful week the one before. We'll be seeing you, then?

    With bells on. Does that mean Sacha will make it too?

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    What can I say? I did rub the belly of the young man with him, so my work was done.

    Very cool. You smooth operator. I got him a shag. They were still talking the next day and now they have a dinner date with two others that were here. Didn't we do well? :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    With bells on.

    I just had 3 no shows from people who said "with bells on". Don't particularly like that sayin' anymore.Wont trust it now. Just, where are these bells situated?

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Very cool. You smooth operator. I got him a shag. They were still talking the next day and now they have a dinner date with two others that were here. Didn't we do well? :)

    God, I'm good. Prime them up and leave them to some other woman. Never thought I'd be glad to say that I turned someone on for someone else. But I am. Thoroughly nice men.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    lol. You're a bloody diamond, not a blood diamond mind. :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Hannah,

    I tend to think of my social aptitude being inversely proportional to the number of people in the group. So one-on-one is best, me with 2 others ok and more people in the group the worse it gets. However it does also depend on the sociality of the other people - if there are extroverts in the group I shut up, whereas I can actually find myself asking polite questions of people who are even shyer than me.

    Only recently have I realised that considering how tired I feel on the drive home from a social outing, that socialising is a stressful event, and I need to lie down in the quiet for 10 minutes when we get home to feel back to normal.

    The weird thing is that one of my hobbies is roleplaying - and I can be quite an extrovert when I am in-character, but when games is over and people start talking as themselves again, I go quiet once more. I thinks its about giving a performance.

    I was just reading an article in New Scientist (3July2010) about personality types, bascially that its not a person's genetics that determines personality, its about the environment cues. People who are physically strong & attractive tend to be extroverts. Interestingly, it says, giving people a more attractive avatar in Wow made them more gregarious in the game, and this effect carried over into the real world (for a few minutes).

    Auckland • Since Feb 2009 • 15 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Simon Baron-Cohen, is Sasha's brother.

    No, they are cousins. (If that was a test about being argumentative I would have scored very highly.)

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3204 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Hmm: I wonder about that 'physically strong and attractive tending to be extroverts' bit: it depends on the 'attractive to whom?' factor doesnt it?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    I also think people get confused between extroverted and introverted. Extro get their energy from others, intro get theirs from themselves. Talking alot, as Danielle said, doesn't mean you're socially ept - it's often a cover up. I use it often as a way of watching people without them realising. I'm an introvert - like you, Hannah, I always feel like I need a good nap after social contact. Makes my job exciting but.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • ScottY,

    Also, the date is now Friday, Sept 10. We had to move it back a week to avoid a very eventful week the one before. We'll be seeing you, then?

    Well that's some good news. I'd been booked to go on a work retreat thing on the 3rd, and was gutted to learn of the date clash.

    I'm not sure if anyone has suggested it yet, but can I suggest we all have our AQ scores on our nametags? It might help to break the ice: "Ah, so you're a social butterfly who loves to chatter? I'm severely emotionally damaged and hate people. How do you do?"

    West • Since Feb 2009 • 794 posts Report Reply

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