Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: The Truth About Talkback

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  • Ian Dalziel,

    nominative determinism...

    aptonyms

    The evening TV news is often a good source of these, sometimes to the extent of doubting their veracity...

    from underbelly to tripe?
    ...and now we have the phenomenon of adaptonyms : Australian actor Matthew Newton has moved from playing Mr Asia to becoming Mr Erasure!
    from The SMH:

    Some of those working on the The X Factor expressed concern from the outset at the prospect of Newton as host. Those concerns were voiced again as his behaviour spiralled out of control. But the production chose not to listen, to instead try to "manage" its difficult star.
    As Seven frantically oversees the re-editing of its series to eliminate any reference to Newton, it must know the public memory cannot be as conveniently erased.

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7885 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I found a van with advertising on the side, "Bad Design".

    That has to be intentional. Design is not a German word. I expect Bad Orb is famous for Bad Jokes.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10629 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    We're not in Oklahoma now, toto...

    I expect Bad Orb is famous for Bad Jokes.

    with my bad Maori pronunciation I thought I was in a Rogers and Hammerstein musical when driving through Owhata...
    Owhata Medical centre
    Owhata Pharmacy
    Owhata Bakery
    O what a beautiful morning...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7885 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Until the last line, Ian, I didn't get it. I read it as Oh-farter.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10629 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Until the last line, Ian, I didn't get it. I read it as Oh-farter.

    Last time I passed through Te Puke I felt my gorge rise. Funny how I'd never noticed before.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4591 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    Owhata beautiful morning...

    The Siamese notional anthem (from 3:20)

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    the Manawatumescent engorgement...?

    Last time I passed through Te Puke
    I felt my gorge rise.

    did you pull over or heave to?
    :- )

    Reminds me (obliquely) of that Kiwi Classic
    New Zild and how to speak it by Arch Acker*
    and the adventures of the first female Rugby player, as noted by radio announcers:
    "Annie's got the ball, Annie's running up the wing, Annie's gorgeous by the post!"

    *the very book John Key was raised on , I'm sure!
    It's a '60s classic, companion to Let Stalk Strine

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7885 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Whenever I drive through Waipu, I always think "Why not?".

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10629 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    Waipu is off SH1, so do you take a detour just to make the joke?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Ray Gilbert,

    Nominative determinism was rife in my former department

    Thankfully not the case in my old department where the mortician of 20 years standing was Peter Cook

    Since Nov 2006 • 103 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Thankfully not the case in my old department where the mortician of 20 years standing was Peter Cook

    ..well he did leave a great body of work
    and Dudley, more...
    :- )

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7885 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Last time I passed through Te Puke I felt my gorge rise.

    And something is rotten in the kingdom of ManureWa and whilst we are being fundimental. How can it take Tu tu kaka. Oh hang on, Timaru...
    "Am I what?"

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    It will be "Himalaya" "He tells the truth!" next.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    Ian, someone has laboriously typed out Afferbeck Lauder's magnum opus here.

    My parents had copies of Lets Stalk Strine and Nose Tone Unturned. They may have been formative.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    Also, we may have found the origin of the Sensible Sentencing Trust's views:

    Aorta mica laura genst all these prairlers and sleshers an pervs. Aorta puttem in jile an shootem.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    It will be "Himalaya" "He tells the truth!" next.

    Yes, well, then it will be Irish Lawyers.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Logan O'Callahan,

    and a touch of Alien?

    Since Apr 2008 • 70 posts Report Reply

  • Deb Mudie,

    That was shudderingly good. And reminds me why I avoid talkback radio like the (locust?) plague ...

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 8 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    That was shudderingly good.

    Y'know this man along with many others give joy to our universe in all sorts of ways. So glad I visit. A reason I lurve te internet.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • martinb,

    All this word play is in a ...Carol Shield's novel about a poet Jakob Beer (?) memory failing...

    have to track down the moment he meets this lass and she answers him completely in city/country names

    Auckland • Since Jul 2010 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • martinb,

    Dammit sorry- (who the heck is Carol Shields??) Anne Michaels...still looking to see if someone has the passage quoted somewhere...my copy of the book is in storage...

    Auckland • Since Jul 2010 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Well, we know who Carol Shields is (I met her here waay back in 1996 and she was very Canadian despite her USA birth*) and - etcetera.

    Faux amis anyone?

    Would anyone like to say these words out loud?

    kite
    where
    angina
    ware
    mate

    *and I really enjoyed her books

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • martinb,

    If someone out there has a copy I've determined through Goodle books that it is page 128- but can only remember her cry as she ran off

    "Moscow!"

    http://books.google.com/books?id=yL0fAQAAIAAJ&q=librarian#search_anchor

    I have though invented a fun new drinking game involving snippet view on Google books. You have to guess if a word is in 'Fugitive Pieces" Everyone else must then drink the number of times that it appears in the book...choose any book with snippet view for the desired effect...

    Auckland • Since Jul 2010 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    They walk among us:

    Mr Garrett said his own jaw had been broken in two places after he was attacked from behind.

    I notice Mr Garrett has not backed this up by producing the original x-rays.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1609 posts Report Reply

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