Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education

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  • Bart Janssen, in reply to recordari,

    literally

    figuratively :P

    Damn time limit on edit - I would have caught it but I had to pipette some samples for a time course.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4458 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Emma Hart,

    O jeebus yes!
    When I get the next royalty cheque I am so going to invest quite a bit with them again-
    meantime, I exist on Lindt...

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Nat, in reply to Islander,

    To say I LOVE chili chocolate is something of an understatement...and chocolate-ginger cant be prised out of my tentacles...

    +2

    Seattle • Since Jun 2011 • 52 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Max Rose,

    Kia ora Max-
    “Demonic Males” (Richard Wrangham & Dale Petersen) appears to take the opposite view – we’re nasty because we share so many behaviours with Pan troglydytes, and we should attempt to be more like our other Pan relatives…
    it was published in 1996, and some information about P.paniscus wasnt available then – to wit, that females will almost routinely gang up on obstreporous males,
    juvenile or adult, and that an unusual number of males have parts of fingers missing…I havent yet read “Sex At Dawn” but it now on The List (about 1000+
    books I really want to read.)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • recordari, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Literally?! You want we should call you a Wham!bulance?

    Italics signifies irony, right? I’m sure you can use literally to represent the extreme fringes of a figurative state. Well I did, so there.

    Wham!bulance is now my word of the year.

    Pipette some samples

    TMI.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Islander,

    Should've added this: there is informed speculation that P.pan. is 'nice' because they didnt share their habitat/food sources with other primates (P. trog competed with gorilla, several monkey species,
    and -much earlier than P.pan. -with hominins...)

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to recordari,

    Wham!bulance is now my word of the year.

    Seriously, picture it. The siren is "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go".

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Thomas Johnson, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Wellington • Since Oct 2007 • 98 posts Report Reply

  • chris, in reply to BenWilson,

    Thanks for taking the time to write that Ben.

    Confucians and Taoists seem to have a balanced view on the matter, that birth control makes sense for family and social harmony. Taoists are into sexual fun, it would seem.

    Some summary of ritualistic recommendations here:

    While the man had to please the woman sexually, she was still just an object.

    and erm, it is surely no coincidence that the Chinese age of consent is 14:

    the ideal ding is a premenarche virgin just under 14 years of age and women older than 18 should be avoided

    Mawkland • Since Jan 2010 • 1302 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson, in reply to chris,

    Classic link. I wonder how many Tai Chi practitioners realize that to increase their ki power, instead of "making hands like clouds", they could "fuck like rabbits"

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10653 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Ah, boys holding their penises. Yes. I am oft heard to ask small boys "Do you need to go to the toilet, or are you just holding your penis?" To which the inevitable response is either an eyebrow lift (that would be assent) or "I'm just holding my penis". Okay, then, glad that's settled. Pacific Islanders, and this is a huge generalisation based only on my experiences over the years, are notoriously prudish about body part and body functions. Even my workmates have been known to still refer to their periods as "my mate".

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    Jackie (love your insights!) cd. that 'mate' be Maori-Island "mate" (sickness or indisposition as well as all the other meanings) given a protective sound colouration?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    ...but I had to pipette some samples...

    Pipette always makes think of a chorus line
    of tiny girls in long stockings, never lab work...
    Sounds like a personal problem, I know!

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7944 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    Pipette

    short stockings, surely

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19719 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Islander,

    You know, I hadn't thought of it like that. I suspect you are quite right.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • recordari, in reply to Ian Dalziel,

    Pipette... chorus line

    That would be a multi-sample auto-pipette.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to BenWilson,

    I wonder how many Tai Chi practitioners realize that to increase their ki power, instead of “making hands like clouds”, they could “fuck like rabbits”

    Fortunately, many tai chi practitioners believe these "Taoist sexual practices" are a distortion and misapplication of Taoist principles.

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3891 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    Yes, well, the chocolate manifesto. It has some fabulous insights. I guess the one thing that it doesn't quite work for me is with respect to people who really just are not interested in chocolate. To be precise, this bit:

    “More people eating more and better chocolate” doesn’t expect everyone to like chocolate, but it does suggest that a lot of people who currently don’t see what all the fuss is about might have happier lives if they could explore more of what chocolate has to offer.

    To be told that if they would just try a little bit of chocolate, just a leetle leetle bit, perhaps delivered with hugs and kisses or whatever, then they'd like it after all.... I find that difficult. The world is not necessarily a better place if there is more chocolate for everyone, because actually, some people really don't want chocolate at all, no matter how it is presented.

    As it turns out, personally, I do want chocolate. And sex. Sometimes combined, which can be all kinds of fun.

    But there are people who don't. If people want to have chilli chocolate, or lots of different chocolates, or caramello chocolate, or plain old dairy milk chocolate, then all power to them. They should be free to do what they like, without any tut-tutting through chinked curtains from supervising neighbours. All sorts of chocolate ought to be available to those who want it, without social sanction, and provided, of course, that all those involved in consumption and supply are consenting adults.

    I don't think that it's helpful to tell people who don't want any bloddy chocolate at all that if only they'd try this flavour, or that combo, that they would find their own particular favourite. That's kind of... patronising, at best.

    I think this is an area that the chocolate manifesto doesn't address. It's not so much something that the manifesto says, as something that it doesn't say, viz, that not wanting chocolate at all is just fine too.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Deborah,

    Or....not being able to have chocolate, through no fault of your own, and that being perfectly okay. That your life without chocolate is just as rich and fulsome as it was when you had chocolate. In actual fact, you might have had so much chocolate in a past life, one might say gorged on it, to the extent that your chocolate-less life finds you a happy person. And your appetite for chocolate has subsided as the years have gone by, anyway, so it all works out in the end.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Deborah,

    I don't think that's entirely fair, Deborah, when Max has said:

    And celebrating all that is good about chocolate won’t stop us from working to improve or eliminate bad chocolate, or acknowledging that for some people, chocolate will never interest them or will be at most a mildly pleasant occasional experience.

    That some people can make judgements about chocolate on the basis of a few samples and then later discover that there are different chocolates that entirely change your view on the matter is a simple fact. I know because it happened to me. And we've talked in that post of Tallulah's about how long some perfectly sexual people have gone without orgasm because of the nature or quality of their chocolate.

    Dumping the metaphor for a moment, I don't think openly acknowledging the experiences and rights of asexuals and people with low sex drive should stop us from also acknowledging that for some people the sexual experience can be improved. And for people whose main sexual drive is not straight-vanilla, that's incredibly important.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    mmmm - chili chocolate - my old boss used to grow the most wonderful habañeros and bring them into work dipped in chocolate.

    Best though is the dark chocolate blocks with the whole raw chilies in them from Mexico, I've never dared to try and bring one back into NZ - anyone got them past customs (after declaring them)?

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2622 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Paul Campbell,

    mmm – chili chocolate – my old boss used to grow the most wonderful habañeros and bring them into work dipped in chocolat

    Fuck o dear - *habaneros*? The only time I tried to eat one of those wonderful littler mothers, I nearly blistered to death...Thai birds'eyes were a peeth of pith
    bethide-

    I found Mexican chocolate kind of sweet (got it courtesy of one of my nephews, who spent a year in Argentina (and went to other Spanish-speaking places after)
    and never got hold of/never knew about the "dark chocolate blocks with whole raw chilies in 'em" - hey! shouldnt be beyond our combined (PAS-combined/cloud-sourcing) talents to re-create eh?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    To which the inevitable response is either an eyebrow lift (that would be assent) or “I’m just holding my penis”.

    When one of my sons was very small I made the mistake of asking him why he had his hand down his nappy. He sighed, gave me the kind of look reserved for the terminally dim and said "I'm penising".

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Paul Campbell,

    dark chocolate blocks with the whole raw chilies in them

    yes please
    (non-metaphorically)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19719 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,

    verbing comes naturally to the young

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19719 posts Report Reply

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