Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Life on Mars

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  • Jackie Clark,

    Darling, we'll be so twinkly you won't know where to put yourself.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    I'm sure Emma always knows where to put...herself.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    driving on flat roads and not looking at what you’re walking under in case it didn’t stay there

    It's really saying something that you associate these two things with Wellington.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 856 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    I'm sure Emma always knows where to put...herself.

    In the middle. That's an easy one.

    I'm all a bit bouncy this morning because the Orcon Great Blend just got officially tweeted, but I'm still not ready to announce my super-secrect secret project which is all terribly exciting. So if you could all just get excited and not know why, that'd be great.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Emma Hart,

    So if you could all just get excited and not know why, that’d be great.

    I am excited, but confused. About right?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Lucy Stewart,

    And how.

    So, you told me before you came up, you wanted a break from worrying about *everything*. I did OK?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Two points:

    1. I can faithfully report that in Wellington Emma was so ladylike and decorous that even passing strangers remarked on her delicacy.

    2. Emma will be projecting her ethereal ladylikeness from the stage at the Orcon Great Blend, Thursday August 4, Auckland Town Hall concert chamber, along with Mr Haywood and audio-visual works by Stanier Black 5 and Blair Parkes. Plus a DJ set from Shayne Carter and the launch of Digital NZ's 2011 Mixandmash challenge. RSVPs open next week. Wheee!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler, in reply to Russell Brown,

    audio-visual works by Stanier Black 5

    My immediate thought was "why is there going to be an old British steam engine at OGB?". I don't know if that makes me more or less hip.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 856 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Russell Brown,

    1. I can faithfully report that in Wellington Emma was so ladylike and decorous that even passing strangers remarked on her delicacy.

    And Russell acquitted himself with utter gentlemanliness. Even when I used him to taunt Emma.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to James Butler,

    Stanier Black 5 is Jo Burzynski of Lyttelton. The work she'll perform is based on field recordings captured in the four hours after the Feb 22 earthquake. Challenging and special.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • recordari, in reply to Russell Brown,

    Two points:

    That's a loose description. I counted at least 9. And I assume this is still not including Emma's secret projectoring,

    Excited much? Unwittingly even.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Russell Brown,

    even passing strangers remarked on her delicacy

    phwoar she looks tasty?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to recordari,

    I counted at least 9

    hush ... he does words not numbers

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    We'll be twinkly, but can't promise that it will be warm.

    That's the only way I know how much I'm not myself any more, and you know, I don't much fucking like it.

    I guess part of grieving is learning to let go of painful memory, which involves learning not to remember it all the time, which is a hard act, but what else can you do? I remember after breaking up with my first long term love, that I could only do it by actively suppressing the constant memories of her that arose. It felt awful, but the memories also felt awful, viscerally so. If you are like me, and don't feel that you owe yourself a lifetime of misery, you have to do these things, and learn not to blame yourself for being a human determined to protect your own birthright of happiness.

    I remember the first time that I noticed that I hadn't thought about her at all for at least a week. It was years later, but it was also a mighty feeling, because it showed that I was finally at a point where the future had become more important to me than the past.

    Thanks for continuing to share with us - that's part of you being you again, too. The abusive spouse metaphor is horribly apt, it seems. The violence of the earth itself hits to the core of something we instinctively feel we should be able to trust. I recall that many people in Samoa felt the same way about the ocean which had for so long been their best friend, was now the frightening monster that had swallowed their village and taken their children. How could you ever forgive it?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    confirmation of my brain WOF

    And you can bury this all you like but for us this is SUCH good news!!!!

    And while I don't do twinkly, I do do hugs. Looking forward to your visit.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    And while I don’t do twinkly, I do do hugs. Looking forward to your visit.

    You know, Bart, Emma keeps trying to get me to come to Auckland with her. And one of the reasons she keeps mentioning is that I need to meet (and go drunk shoe-shopping with) you.

    Having laid waste to much of Wellington's hospitality scene last weekend, I suspect Auckland couldn't handle us.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Russell Brown,

    1. I can faithfully report that in Wellington Emma was so ladylike and decorous that even passing strangers remarked on her delicacy.

    Passing strangers, that bouncer at the Malthouse, Derby girls...

    So, you told me before you came up, you wanted a break from worrying about *everything*. I did OK?

    My darling, you were wonderful.

    And while I don't do twinkly, I do do hugs. Looking forward to your visit.

    Excellent. Bart-hugs are fabulous. I shall greet you in a suitably lady-like manner.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to BenWilson,

    Now, to not be flip for a moment...

    The violence of the earth itself hits to the core of something we instinctively feel we should be able to trust.

    This is something that... hits me harder, I guess, because I was outside for "the six". (By which I mean the larger of the two big June aftershocks.) Previously I'd always been in the house, but this time there was nothing between me and the ground, and it really was like it leapt up and hit me, hard enough to knock me over and leave bruising. And not to be obvious or anything, but the ground is everywhere you go, there's no escaping it. When you're outside in open space, it feels like nowhere is safe, even though it's probably safer than being inside because there's nothing to fall on you.

    And yeah, there's no escaping the experience in Chch, because every day you see things that remind you. Also, I thought, while I was away, that I would be constantly wondering if there'd been a big shake, if I'd know about it, if my family would be okay. Turns out I didn't. (Srsly, pretty much drunk for four days. I am a fabulous advertisement for the Public Address brand. To be fair, so is Hadyn.)

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    And I have to share a comment from a friend-of-a-friend on Facebook on the link to this column: (this may be triggering for domestic violence, maybe)

    You have to remember that that northern chick is a ticking time bomb and that one day she'll give you a wolloping completely out of the blue that will make what you're getting from Christchurch look like a neck massage - and don't expect to get any help as quickly as you did with Christchurch either, there's only two exits from her place and she's set it up to trap you in there with her when she cut loose!

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    I can't talk to quakes, but I distinctly remember the blessed relief during the traumatic period of my firstborn's entrance to the world, of time spent with people NOT talking about it. I played a lot of pool during that time, a very therapeutic activity. If I slammed the balls harder than usual, can anyone blame me?

    Of course, talking about it is vital. But so is respite from that. It's the biggest thing I owe to Public Address during that period, and I was most heartened by your SlutWalk thread just to be seeing the Emma we all remembered again. Then the earth hit you again...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Emma Hart,

    You have to remember that that northern chick is a ticking time bomb and that one day she’ll give you a wolloping completely out of the blue that will make what you’re getting from Christchurch look like a neck massage –

    See, for me, it is the opposite. Since I left, Christchurch has always felt like the Unsafe Place. She's the lover I go back to, who I know will hurt me, but I can't stay away from. (And actually, there is one of those down there.)

    Emma and Isabel and a bunch of other people have gone some way to fixing that, but post-quakes, I find it difficult to trust her. Because she's hurt so many people I love, and she doesn't seem to be getting any better. Bitch.

    And so now, when I used to love going down, I hesitate. I tell those guys to come here, because I don't trust myself around Christchurch anymore.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __,

    Emma: congratulations on your brain-WOF, that is great news!

    And I know just what you mean with the numb flippancy about the falling-down CBD.

    I remember post-September 4, watching online video of demolitions: the pub in Heathcote and the jeweller's in Riccarton Rd, and shedding actual tears, despite neither building having any personal significance at all for me.

    And I remember after February 22 the first time I saw images of the Cathedral, the Press building, PGC, etc., the stomach-clenching, heart-racing shock of it. And the first time I saw the RC Cathedral in the flesh. And so on, and so on, so many shocks.

    But now, after June 13, I look at these things and have no emotional response at all, except a kind of irritation at the mess. I look at cleared demolition sites and think, hurrah, that's better.

    I got back last night from a 10-day respite in Dunedin, and I feel a lot less worn-down and despairing, but the numbness is still there.

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3895 posts Report Reply

  • Sue,

    I would like to sponsor megan on a megan/emma/bart drunk shopping trip in auckland. As long as it's tweeted

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 527 posts Report Reply

  • Idiot Savant, in reply to Emma Hart,

    And not to be obvious or anything, but the ground is everywhere you go, there's no escaping it. When you're outside in open space, it feels like nowhere is safe, even though it's probably safer than being inside because there's nothing to fall on you.

    You need to live in a zeppelin.

    Palmerston North • Since Nov 2006 • 1717 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Idiot Savant,

    Oh, the humanity.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

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