Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Why Does Love Do This to Me?

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  • giovanni tiso,

    I say we just call him 'the not the face guy' from now on.

    Why not? Speaking as somebody who is fairly comfortable with his (hetero)sexuality, I do worry about his delicate features when he gets approached by a speeding brute. Damn if the guy doesn't look like he was sculpted by Phidias.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Bob Munro,

    Thank you Emma for giving the love interest in this story such a noble name. :)

    Christchurch • Since Aug 2007 • 418 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    Oh! though this should not be taken as an insinuation that he, y'know, "plays for Canterbury".

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • BenWilson,

    I'm hooked. Next episode is when? My fav bit:

    His thigh under her hands was hard and unyielding, like a bundle of pipes wrapped in hairy canvas.

    Although I think it might be a wee bit explicit for Mills and Boon.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • Danielle,

    Although I think it might be a wee bit explicit for Mills and Boon.

    Mills and Boon (and Harlequin, who own Mills and Boon) have shexay sub-series called things like 'Desire' - they usually have red accents on the covers and are very explicit about throbbing manhoods and whatnot. (When I worked at a public library, we used to hold up those books as they came in and see which pages they fell open at: invariably the throbbing manhood scenes!)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report

  • BenWilson,

    Goodness women are subtle aren't they? When I was a boy, it was well known that you could find the raunchiest part of anything lewd by following the trail of 'coffee stains'.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report

  • TracyMac,

    Just fab.

    I'd like to see the BDSM-azoola as well, mind you. More?

    Canberra, West Island • Since Nov 2006 • 701 posts Report

  • Amy Gale,

    (When I worked at a public library, we used to hold up those books as they came in and see which pages they fell open at: invariably the throbbing manhood scenes!)

    Ah, a fond memory emerges. The school library. A copy of Clan of The Cave Bear. Our English teacher suddenly Very Disappointed In All Of Us. Good times.

    Seriously, what did they think? That scores of teenage girls were just deeply, deeply interested in prehistoric Europe?

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report

  • Megan Wegan,

    The "not the face! not the face!" guy. Whatever his name is.

    Giovanni is full of Win. I say we just call him 'the not the face guy' from now on.

    Megan knows who we mean.

    mmmm. Not the face indeed.

    Having said that, that Mark sounds like more my kind of guy....

    Now. Who starred in the cricket version I wonder?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    >(When I worked at a public library, we used to hold up those books as they came in and see which pages they fell open at: invariably the throbbing manhood scenes!)

    Ah, a fond memory emerges. The school library. A copy of Clan of The Cave Bear. Our English teacher suddenly Very Disappointed In All Of Us. Good times.

    Seriously, what did they think? That scores of teenage girls were just deeply, deeply interested in prehistoric Europe?

    Heh. Back in the '80's, when I was a hormonal teenager, there was a fad for releasing cheap paperbacks of popular sci-fi movies - all written by Alan Dean Foster, if memory serves. In our school bookshop, 'The Terminator' novelisation used to fall open at pg 63....

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    Wow, thats enormous writing Emma. Is it a sign of things to come.

    I'm slightly shocked at how many people are keen to turn the System into a erotic fiction site :)

    I wonder what Russell's next political post will be like.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    I wonder what Russell's next political post will be like.

    "Their eyes met across the floor of the house, the distance between them so little physically, yet so immense politically.

    She hated him for what he had done to her beloved Criminal Justice amendment, and yet, when she found herself staring across the floor at the dull refelction of light from his permanently smudged glasses, the appropriate words to respond to his sallies and counter-thrusts seemed to catch in her throat...."

    This stuff prectically writes itself.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Amy Gale,

    I'd like to see the BDSM-azoola as well, mind you. More

    Here's an 80s flashback for the kids:

    "HAH! Missed BOTH my legs!"

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report

  • Amy Gale,

    (note to self and others, do not try to embed italics in a quote)

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    This stuff prectically writes itself.

    Although it would seem that it would benefit from a decent spellchecking editor....

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • Rich Lock,

    This stuff prectically writes itself.

    Although it would seem that it would benefit from a decent spellchecking editor....

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    You can say that again.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Lucy Stewart,

    I had originally tried to do this seriously. It lasted a sentence and a half. A friend has asked for a cricket version, which in my head made it about a paragraph before turning into some kind of BDSM-opalooza. You should probably be grateful that won't see the light of day.

    I have two things to say:

    1) Rule 34.

    2) I have it on good authority that there is a reasonable body of Black Caps slashfic floating around teh Interwebs. I haven't gone looking, in the interests of preserving the remnants of my sanity. (I can handle just about anything else by this point, but RPF is still a no.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    (I can handle just about anything else by this point, but RPF is still a no.)

    The day of judgment will come, and all the peoples of the world will be gathered in the valley of whatsisname. And the Lord (or one of its representatives) will judge them and send some to the heavens, other to an eternal afterlife of torment. When the finally there will come the time of the English speaking throngs, it will look at first like they are being motioned skywards, towards everlasting bliss, but the judge will suddenly stop the proceedings and say: "No, wait, now I remember: the acronyms, you guys, always with the bloody acronyms. Down you go."

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Lucy Stewart,

    "No, wait, now I remember: the acronyms, you guys, always with the bloody acronyms. Down you go."

    LOL.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    LOL.

    Damn! Foiled again...

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Bart Janssen,

    I wonder what Russell's next political post will be like.

    Oh yes, lets have all the bloggers write "in the style of..."

    And please have them do a reading of their Mills & Boon columns at the next Great Blend?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report

  • Bart Janssen,

    RPF

    there seem to be quite a number of the below that fit. Canadian lumberjack with a rear projector maybe?

    Railway Protection Forces, India
    Rassemblement du Peuple Français, a former French political party
    Rassemblement pour la France, a French political party
    Raster Product Format, a United States military standard for geospatial raster, MIL-STD-2411
    Rich Pixel Format, a type of computer graphics file which can store many types of channels, including RGBA, Z-Depth, Velocity, and Material ID's. It is derived from RLA.
    Real person fiction, a literary genre
    Reformatorische Politieke Federatie, a former Dutch political party
    Regenerative Particulate Filter, see Diesel particulate filter
    Registered Professional Forester, Canada
    The Rehabilitation Project Force of the Church of Scientology
    Renal plasma flow, in medicine
    Retroperitoneal fibrosis, a disease
    Reverse path forwarding, for both Unicast and Multicast routing
    Richard P. Feynman, physicist, drummer, artist
    Rwandan Patriotic Front
    Rear Projection Film

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    The Rehabilitation Project Force of the Church of Scientology

    Thank you, now I know what my next nightmare is going to be about. Hell, I have a feeling it might be a two-parter.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    his sallies and counter-thrusts seemed to catch in her throat....

    ew. ur gross.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

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