Up Front by Emma Hart

Read Post

Up Front: Oh, Cock!

169 Responses

First ←Older Page 1 3 4 5 6 7 Newer→ Last

  • 3410,

    Okay, I get 270 ml.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • uroskin,

    In the olden days the blood stained sheet was hung outside the house to prove the bride had been a virgin. Not sure how it worked for boys though.

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Getting a bit like reaching out and touching someone around here, chaps !

    Still, I can vividly remembering the first time I had proper (rather than improper) sex. A moment of great illumination: so there was a use for this thing...and were women everywhere walking around with similar facilities for bestowing such pleasure!

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2317 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    In the olden days the blood stained sheet was hung outside the house to prove the bride had been a virgin. Not sure how it worked for boys though.

    Maybe a pair of stained Y-fronts?

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2317 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    were women everywhere walking around with similar facilities for bestowing such pleasure!

    Luckily for us all, I do not have a copy of Portnoy's Complaint to hand and so cannot quote the passage in which the eponymous narrator expresses a similar sentiment is similarly wonderstruck but less lyrical fashion.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2968 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Geoff, my thought was more along the lines of "Thank God that's over, surely it's not always that awful?". But things got better fast.

    Edit: We were both virgins. Not recommended.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8591 posts Report Reply

  • uroskin,

    Yes, my first gay sex was between virgins too (he was straight, so had even less of a clue). Highly un-recommended indeed.

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Screw this for a joke...

    I wonder if this was what Archimedes was really doing in his bath?

    Ach! Everyone is an Archimedian here....


    Well, what else would ya fill cracks in with?

    I guess another way might be to quickly wrap it in plaster of paris.

    fondly remembering Cynthia Plaster Caster
    her official website is here - she always
    left a good impression...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 5049 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Yes, I remember reading that Jimi had great trouble getting out of the mold, his (apparently impressive) chop would not go down.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 8591 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Geoff, my thought was more along the lines of "Thank God that's over, surely it's not always that awful?". But things got better fast.

    Edit: We were both virgins. Not recommended.

    Not necessarily a problem, as long as you approach things in the right manner (i.e. with lots and lots of practice at all the other options before you attempt the "intercourse" bit.)

    Amherst, MA • Since Nov 2006 • 2093 posts Report Reply

  • Just thinking,

    Geoff a pair of stained Y-fronts brings in images of old folks homes to my mind. Not best mixed with images of virgins.

    Putaringamotu • Since Apr 2009 • 1147 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    an aside @ Just Thinking
    (I think you mentioned this in an earlier post)

    After enquiring I have been assured there will be NO alcohol anywhere at the Chch Free Concert tomorrow - no VIP area serving drinks apparently... and if I hear otherwise after the fact I will be most displeased - it's bad enough that Bob Parker has thrust himself into The Bats set (and that they only get a 12pt, bottom line listing in the acts on the ads and poster....)

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 5049 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    - it's bad enough that Bob Parker has thrust himself into The Bats set

    Do The Bats have groupies? Hopefully with plaster casting skills? Perhaps Bob could be persuaded to 'thrust' his actual head into a bucket of alginate (Jimi Hendrix did it, your worship - think of the cred) . . . Aargh never mind, how the hell did The Bats become implicated in this pious fraud anyway?

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3555 posts Report Reply

  • Jacqui Dunn,

    Perhaps Bob could be persuaded to 'thrust' his actual head into a bucket of alginate (Jimi Hendrix did it, your worship - think of the cred)

    :)

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Today's TEDx Christchurch event featured shrinking alligator penises. When the tweets about it appeared, I thought of this dicussion at once, naturally.
    As you were.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16759 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Do The Bats have groupies? Hopefully with plaster casting skills?

    What would all the neighbours say?

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 805 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Much as getting into, out of, and around Hagley Park today did sound like a complete fracking nightmare, I did briefly consider it. I've never legally seen the Exponents...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4369 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Much as getting into, out of, and around Hagley Park today did sound like a complete fracking nightmare, I did briefly consider it.

    Perhaps Mayor Bob's "urban visionary" mate Hendo will attempt a repeat of this kind of stunt.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 3555 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    What a twatcock

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16759 posts Report Reply

First ←Older Page 1 3 4 5 6 7 Newer→ Last

Post your response…

Please sign in using your Public Address credentials…

Login

You may also create an account or retrieve your password.