Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia

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  • Emma Hart, in reply to Max Rose,

    It's good to remove the stigma and shame from sex, but I wouldn't like to totally eliminate the idea that sex is dirty.

    No! All the sex must be nice, and...

    Dammit, that was actually how far I could get into that whole "happy spiritual loving" thing before I was laughing so hard I couldn't type.

    But yes. Basically, having dirty sex = awesome. Telling other people their sex is dirty and therefore wrong = Just Fuck Off.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4366 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Russell Brown,

    <q>Yeah, but you’d sing, right? You weren’t screaming so hard you couldn’t actually hear any of the music.

    Mass/crowd singing is *still* one of the most potent things humans can do together...if you add drums (& the plethora of rhythmic instruments) & especial musical instruments (bagpipes/whistles/electric guitars et al) - AND - let there be dancing!!!
    Often equals human ecstatic moments-

    and not only human - Hominidae-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    there is erotic material to suit all taste

    Nope!
    And we still
    make up 1-1.5% of humanity!

    Emma carefully made sure asexualism was mentioned - for which I deeply thank her- but obviously there is no pornography around that is going whet an asexual's
    appetite-

    o, foood? Did someone just mention appetite? Drool, food, doubledrool drink?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Islander,

    what would erotic material for asexual people be like?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16659 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Aidan,

    my aunt told me she went to see The Beatles in Wellington (50s?). She screamed and she didn't really know why, at the time, or 40 years later.

    My mother, an actual fan of the music (at least until 'they went all strange and dreary', in her words, after 1965) saw them in Dunedin on the '64 tour. She said they came on and everyone in her section left their seats and rushed screaming to the stage, leaving her bemused in their wake. Of course, she was 18 at the time, so just a bit too old for high histrionics.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3655 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Sacha,

    Well - like nothing.
    When I meet people - and I have met many many thousands - I am interested in responses (generally literary, or tribal, or as another foodie or the responses of fellow-fishers (baiting, sea-fishing, eeling, floundering) or for political commentary/inclusiveness/assistance to various compaigns) or for matters feminist or to do with home-building or myth/fantasy/scifi) or for those who also like edged weaponry/archaeology/geomorphology) annnd whatever new they have to bring into my life...

    I have only met 6 out-asexuals (and only 3 of them are from ANZ.) I find a matter in common aside from our asexuality - we've all participated in AVEN and have clarified who we are and what our interests are via that site.

    Since AVEN is now different, and the ANZ Asex site is down, there are almost no contacts.

    Which doesnt matter. The asexuals I know/knew have very rich LIVES: we tend to be a deep part of our family & friends' social circles, very creative - and very capable.

    Authoritatively - there is no erotic material for asexuals-

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Islander,

    Oh I am so sorry, Islander - I should have said, that there is something to suit everyone's taste who is so inclined.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Sacha,

    what would erotic material for asexual people be like?

    kittens?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3389 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    something to suit everyone's taste who is so inclined

    Taste relies on inclination - so yes, there is material to suit all tastes, including none.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16659 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Islander,

    Mass/crowd singing is *still* one of the most potent things humans can do together…if you add drums (& the plethora of rhythmic instruments) & especial musical instruments (bagpipes/whistles/electric guitars et al) – AND – let there be dancing!!!
    Often equals human ecstatic moments-

    +1

    I did a lot of Latin Dance for a couple of years and while a lot of people thought it was an ideal way to sex it up with strangers, I actually just really enjoyed the dancing. Sometimes it could feel quite sexy, mostly it didn't, for me anyway. With a good partner on a good night, I did feel ecstatic, but that didn't mean I wanted to have sex with that person, or that I didn't want to. It wasn't some kind of sublimation, it was just a really fun shared activity.

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3447 posts Report Reply

  • kowhai montgomery, in reply to George Darroch,

    Can I just say: Usher! *sqwee* *melts*

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Lilith __,

    It wasn’t some kind of sublimation, it was just a really fun shared activity.

    I've never done it (I suspect I'd lack the skill), but like a few of us here, I've experienced the sheer, transcendent joy of a Friday night dancefloor.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18877 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    kittens?

    Nup, I like cats.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    kittens

    pedo :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16659 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Lilith __,

    It wasn’t some kind of sublimation, it was just a really fun shared activity.

    Exactly!
    With- for some- subliminal moments. For many – real unambiguous joy-
    there are major human/ major pleasures which are not actually sexual in origin but which can be deeply associated with sexual pleasures.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Max Rose, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Dammit, that was actually how far I could get into that whole “happy spiritual loving” thing before I was laughing so hard I couldn’t type.

    But ... didn't you know that sex is degrading unless the couple are looking lovingly into each other's eyes? Although that can be difficult if someone is blindfolded, or if there are more than two pairs of eyes involved.

    Wellington • Since Sep 2011 • 81 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Max Rose,

    sex is degrading

    You say that like it's a bad thing...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4366 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Lilith __,

    I did a lot of Latin Dance for a couple of years and while a lot of people thought it was an ideal way to sex it up with strangers, I actually just really enjoyed the dancing.

    I loved Latin. I love dancing - I'd almost forgotten how much. It's joyful, sometimes it's sexual, sometimes it's... liminal.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4366 posts Report Reply

  • Max Rose, in reply to Lilith __,

    I did a lot of Latin Dance for a couple of years and while a lot of people thought it was an ideal way to sex it up with strangers, I actually just really enjoyed the dancing.

    I do know what you mean: the sheer joy of movement can add to the frisson of attraction, or be an end in itself. I love the spark of physical communication through dance, when barely perceptible shifts of balance, touch and attitude can guide the flow of the night. Even in traditional Latin and ballroom, where the man "leads", the influence actually flows both ways, and at its best it's as good an example of non-verbal communication as you could get outside of the bedroom.

    And no-one at Ceroc ever took it from there to sexing it up with strangers. No, never.

    Wellington • Since Sep 2011 • 81 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Deborah,

    Personally I blame the Catholic church for not getting any teen sex.

    +1000

    Bastards

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen, in reply to Emma Hart,

    sex is degrading

    You say that like it’s a bad thing…

    Don't you mean ... degrading is sex

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3389 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Max Rose,

    DANCING is a whole other ballgame-
    I cant do it-
    but I can sing-
    I can sing kids to sleep
    I can sing sick people into comfort (2 0f my sisters can literally touch sick people into sleep) and
    I can sing people to dance-
    I have been told, by olds, I
    can sing people to war.
    I do know that I can halt people with a call.
    I dont really want to do that kind of stuff.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Jackie Clark,

    Jackie! You are so couth! And you do not ever make mistakes.

    When you come visit my mother and her wee dog - and me - we will welcome you all!

    Nau mai, hoki mai! n/n/Keri

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Russell Brown,

    Oh god, don’t. I made the mistake on Saturday night of proposing that Caitlin Moran might not be completely right about everything in the whole world.

    Yeah, don't do that. I did it once, and got hate mail.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Who is Caitlin Moran? And why is she so disturbing? I googled but was left none the wiser.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

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