Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: It's Not Sex, and It's Not Education

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  • B Jones,

    My guess is that the "worst" tidbits of information quoted in those stories comes from the questions from the kids - this was always a feature of sex ed classes I had around 1990. Whether the questions were anonymous or hands-up, there was always at least one kid trying to make the teacher blush, giggle or cry, usually by pretending to knowledge well beyond their years. PE teachers straight out of t-coll were the easiest prey.

    I remember asking a sensible anonymous question about contraception, but at that stage it was apparently still illegal for teachers to tell under-16s about it.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 812 posts Report Reply

  • DeepRed, in reply to JoJo,

    Is it just a coincidence that if you take the middle 7 letters out of “warmly thank” you spell … a terribly appropriate word?

    Cunning linguistics, if I ever saw it myself. Or should that be master debating?

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 4351 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to DeepRed,

    Urrr!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Kracklite,

    OK, Bowie... er, Gaiman and the wonderful Amanda Palmer.

    The Library of Babel • Since Nov 2007 • 980 posts Report Reply

  • Martin Roberts,

    In defense of Granny Herald, the moral panic was out there first. Don't know quite where it came from, but my rellies were talking about it last week and now a niece is stressing about having to attend some icky class next year. She doesn't read the Herald - word came from the older kids who've just been through it.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 88 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    I remember in the late 90s being taught how to condom your large wooden dildo. Which is pretty thoughtful, really, if you want to be safe while sharing. But no clitorises.

    A kind young lass had to teach me that, at a slightly later point.

    I certainly hope things have moved on a little.

    The People's Republic of … • Since Nov 2006 • 2136 posts Report Reply

  • Islander, in reply to Martin Roberts,

    ow a niece is stressing about having to attend some icky class next year. She doesn’t read the Herald – word came from the older kids who’ve just been through it.

    Um , really?
    And where are her parents, you, and other whanau in this scenario?

    And why the shit havent you all actually made sure she knows what she needs to know *right now*?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings, in reply to Martin Roberts,

    a niece is stressing about having to attend some icky class next year.

    Thinking talking about it is icky is probably a good sign she's not ready to be having sex yet but that's good - you should be learning about sex long before you do it, that way, when you do need to talk to a real, live potential sexual partner about it, you've had plenty of time to mentally rehearse the conversation.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 706 posts Report Reply

  • Ross Mason,

    Garth needs to stop talking while his penis is full.

    Heh. After under blankets reading of semi blue paperbacks it took a couple of shots to discover that a woman needed a wee bit more attention during certain activities as it became obvious that she did not burst forth in ecstasy at the moment of male ejaculation.

    Funny that.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1497 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Russell Brown,

    It's an interesting one for us, because it's not unusual for young ASD people to go for the security and structure of belief.

    There's a recent study which seems to demonstrate that in the US, at least, ASD people are far more likely to be atheists or agnostics than neurotypical people. Whether that would hold out of the cultural context is another question, though.

    Amherst, MA • Since Nov 2006 • 2093 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Emma Hart,

    The number of times Hoggle is standing next to Jareth, ergo the camera is justifiably at crotch-height…

    ETA: Also, this may be relevant to your interests.

    That website mysteriously lacks this one.

    (he also looks damn cute in a frock, but I digress….)

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3466 posts Report Reply

  • chris,

    values...

    中国 • Since Jan 2010 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    And just when you thought the Herald had fired all its guns, in comes Bob McCoskrie, ripe for the fisking.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 18957 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    [Garth George commenter]

    I remember sex ed when I was and there was little in the way of really learning about anatomy, the birds and the bees etc.

    Ok technically? Technically this was true of my school, in that we learned about anatomy and reproduction in science class. If the commenter is using a similar technicality…I guess I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.

    Don’t remember learning anything about birds or bees, though. Maybe if the curriculum had been a bit richer in those areas we’d be better positioned to deal with colony collapse now.

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 457 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Isabel Hitchings,

    you should be learning about sex long before you do it, that way, when you do need to talk to a real, live potential sexual partner about it, you've had plenty of time to mentally rehearse the conversation.

    Freakin' A.

    I had a conversation a year or so ago with a girl I know in her early 20s. She was saying she doesn't use condoms - even with random hookups. Coming as I am from the generation for which AIDS was a massive deal, I was horrified. And when I asked, she basically admitted at least part of hte reason is that she hates asking a guy to wear a condom.

    WTF? Seriously, who are you sleeping with that he won't use a condom, and if he says no, why aren't you kicking him out of your bed? And isn't that exactly what we should (and I suspect are) teaching young people.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Russell Brown,

    There is also the flawed and dangerous ideology that showing teenagers how to have sex will reduce their desire to want sex - just writing that sentence makes me laugh out loud.

    And just reading it makes me laugh out loud, Bob. Jesus. Have you ever _met_ a teenager? They want to have sex. They should, it's nice. And we should be giving them as much information as we reasonably can.

    I wish I had the time that article really deserves.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    It just ocurred to me that Monty Python were parodying this moral crusade way back in 1983.

    New Zealand really is a few decades behind :)

    Vid possibly NSFW. Full length scene (if you go looking for it on youtube) definitely isn't safe.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2398 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock, in reply to Islander,

    is Star Wars real (answer, I really don’t want to burst that bubble).

    Yes, but only episodes four to six. The other films don't actually exist. Not in my universe, anyway.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2398 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Rich Lock,

    Oh snap, my love. I was just about to try and find that! Makes me laugh every time.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3123 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah, in reply to Russell Brown,

    The Herald has also printed a partially literate screed from someone who claims to have studied and research sex education at university. I'm guessing this means that she wrote an undergraduate essay on it, because I can't find any reference to any published work, nor even to a Masters thesis.

    Diane Taylor: Full disclosure on sex education please

    This sentence is revealing:

    They need not be afraid of exercising their God given rights by sending a letter to the principals of each school their child attends.

    Or maybe the Herald has decided that a bit of parody is in order?

    Manawatu City • Since Nov 2006 • 1323 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to Megan Wegan,

    And when I asked, she basically admitted at least part of hte reason is that she hates asking a guy to wear a condom.

    In my first year of university, the RA for my part of our hall - i.e. the older person there to be a fount of wisdom and guidance for teenagers embarking on life away from home - told us that she didn't like asking guys to use condoms because it was so awkward and spoiled the mood.

    We all lambasted her roundly for it ("You'd rather get chlamydia than be awkward? What kind of people are you sleeping with that think condoms spoil the mood?" etc) but if that was the kind of advice she was passing on to people less likely to argue with her about it...

    Amherst, MA • Since Nov 2006 • 2093 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan, in reply to Deborah,

    Or maybe the Herald has decided that a bit of parody is in order?

    Hopefully, because that column is practically unintelligible. From it:

    Ideally there should be an opt-in clause for children at school as opposed to an opt-out clause.

    Like there is for religious education in many schools, right?

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1273 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    reductio ad adbsurdum...

    if you take the middle 7 letters out of "warmly thank"
    you spell ... a terribly appropriate word?

    what's the fuss?
    seems armlyth enuff to me,
    he lisped...

    ...but I can see how a lack of upper limbs
    would preclude - or at least hamper -
    the remnant 4 letter word...

    Solo, and thanks for all the flesh...
    ...and thank you Mr Barnes for illuminating
    the link between Sodomy and blindness -
    so not the barbaric acts of Onan, then?
    ...and for getting to the bottom of buggery
    and sorting the chaps from the knaves
    amongst the cunning Bulgar Votemen
    ("...is this an election or are
    you just pleased to see me?")

    which just makes me think of
    those other Vulgar boatmen
    (no, no, not Hello Sailor) ...

    Разовьём мы кудряву!
    Ай-да, да ай-да,
    Aй-да, да ай-да,
    Разовьём мы кудряву.

    Razovyom my kudryavu!
    Ai-da, da ai-da,
    Ai-da, da ai-da,
    Razovyom my kudryavu.

    (Now we pull hard: one, two, three.
    Ay-da, da, ay-da!
    Ay-da, da, ay-da!
    Now we pull hard: one, two, three.)

    - Song of the Volga Boatmen

    pillar biters...

    That was about the point at which I
    was going to column about this.

    I'd just like to dash off a few words of welcome
    to Column, now that it has become part of the
    large family of inducted verbs, brother Google will
    show you the ropes and explain your new duties...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 5046 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    I mentioned to my other half that I don't remember having sex ed at School, he said I probably didn't go that day. I then remembered the boyfriend I had across the road from school. I had sex ed there.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6254 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Megan Wegan,

    religious education in many schools

    and by which we mean christian only

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 16739 posts Report Reply

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