Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: On youthful indiscretions

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  • Alec Morgan,

    “kiss and tells”–or rather –“donate and tell”–can leave all involved looking rather shabby or the original target even rejuvenated after a suitable time, interesting the number of commenters prior to this that commented on Cameron’s chubby, ruddy appearance as “porcine” though

    and what about the poor pig, meat is still murder as Morrisey has reminded http://www.uncut.co.uk/news/morrissey-slams-david-cameron-over-piggate-allegations-70851

    Tokerau Beach • Since Nov 2006 • 120 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Young,

    Two useful links in this context:
    Josh Lowe: “What is the Piers Gaveston Society?” Prospect: 21.09.2015: http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/politics/david-cameron-lord-ashcroft-biography-what-is-the-piers-gaveston-society

    Stephen Bush: “Will Lord Ashcroft’s scandalous biography harm David Cameron?” New Statesman: 21.09.2015: http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/staggers/2015/09/will-lord-ashcrofts-scandalous-biography-harm-david-cameron-0

    Cameron is alleged to be a former member of the Piers Gaveston Society. This 28-year-old drinking society is composed of twelve former public schoolboys at Oxford University. Its main interaction with the wider student body is its exclusive yearly ball, which allows revellers in fancy dress or fetish attire to climb aboard a coach to a secret location outside the city and engage in louche behaviour, said to often include indulgence in illegal substances. Named in honour of a male lover of King Edward II (1284-1327), the club seems highly camp—its motto is Fane non memini ne audisse unum alterum ita dilixisse, or “Truly, none remember hearing of a man enjoying another so much.’


    Other former members of the group include writer and son of the Duchess of Cornwall Tom Parker Bowles and Private Eye editor Ian Hislop, who profits considerably from publishing tales of excess and scandal among the rich and mindless. There is no suggestion that either man or any other former member participated in any of the acts of which Cameron is accused. Gaystarnews wryly added that two European Union jurisdictions prohibit marriage equality, yet zoophilia is perfectly legal within their borders- Roumania and Finland. According to New Statesman journalist Stephen Bush (21.09.2015), apparently Cameron’s deed is not zoophilia, because under British law, that would have involved penetration of a porcine anus or vagina.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 510 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to Tom Semmens,

    foot in mouth disease?

    “…The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which because one had his private parts in the other’s mouth…”

    ...Orwell, that ends well, that's okay then...
    Who needs Parliament when you can have Congress with the animals*?

    Those Bullingdon Berties shoulda stuck with extremities not extremes...


    *(not to be mistaken with Jim Woodring's excellent Congress of the Animals )

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7792 posts Report Reply

  • Tinakori,

    "There are a number of things to bear in mind regarding the story about British Prime Minister David Cameron putting his thing in a pig."

    Jeez, Russell,"thing"? Did William Burroughs, Jack Kerouac, Norman Mailer, Gore Vidal, Henry Miller et al die in vain. There are a gazillion perfectly good words for penis - including penis - in the English language, wang, dick, cock, willy, etc, etc, etc, but "thing" has to be one of the most feeble. Or have I somehow missed the Hard News special Be Considerate to Queen Victoria Week?

    Wellington • Since Jul 2013 • 118 posts Report Reply

  • william blake,

    By indignities men come to dignity.

    Francis Bacon.

    Since Mar 2010 • 377 posts Report Reply

  • David Hood,

    "Revenge is a kind of wild justice; which the more man's nature runs to, the more ought law to weed it out" - Francis Bacon

    Dunedin • Since May 2007 • 1443 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Tinakori,

    Jeez, Russell,"thing"? Did William Burroughs, Jack Kerouac, Norman Mailer, Gore Vidal, Henry Miller et al die in vain.

    Oh, okay. I thought it sounded funny.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22688 posts Report Reply

  • linger,

    Sometimes it’s hard to see the humour
    when you’ve got a thing about language :-/

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1847 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to linger,

    Sometimes it’s hard to see the humour
    when you’ve got a thing about language :-/

    ...and when even a mild perceived dissing of the "honourable member" is tantamount to lèse-majesté.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4590 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    I guess the rugby is an obligation to Cameron, in any games with England playing.

    I'd imagine the (posh) England supporters will observe a stony silence, but will the other side (Wales & Australia, I'm looking at you) be doing a bit of oinking? Or the traditional chant, to the tune of "Guantanamera":
    One piggy fucker, there's only one piggy fucker

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • chris, in reply to Sacha,

    To be compromised so early in life to one’s elite ‘peers’ is to ensure that you will maintain class discipline (above all else) throughout your life – and to have proved that that is exactly what you are committed to.

    Thanks for posting that Sacha. That’s it. This is about peer pressure and the potential repercussions of not towing the party line. It’s about initiation practices at UK’s elite school and university system and basically the extent to which the members of the ruling class are leveraged by their own networks. There are a million David Camerons queued up to fill his shoes, the greater the masses fixation on the pig the stronger this elitist legacy becomes.

    Mawkland • Since Jan 2010 • 1302 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel, in reply to linger,

    Peenglishnis?

    when you’ve got a thing about language

    ...or is cohindick even a word?
    ;- )

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7792 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    suppose we should be grateful we have a Prime Minister who avoids pork then?
    /coat

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Alfie, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    suppose we should be grateful we have a Prime Minister who avoids pork then?

    Are you saying he’s more of a sheep guy, Steve?

    Dunedin • Since May 2014 • 1346 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca, in reply to Alfie,

    Are you saying he’s more of a sheep guy, Steve?

    Well, he did say he was only horsing around with ponytail(s)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    suppose we should be grateful we have a Prime Minister who avoids pork then?

    In Niugini Pidgin the word for pork is abus pik, i.e. pig meat, or sometimes just plain pik. Pork in Pidgin is a fork lift, which may explain this protective clothing.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4590 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford,

    I can see words like sizzled are about to enter these forums, in jokes. Plus, it's going to get harder - with all the buckets of slops - to figure out who is telling true porkys.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 4082 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    Attachment

    Genuine tube sign posted by somebody in London. Where people care more about the lolz than not offending the necrozoophiliac community. Or the tories:

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • linger, in reply to steven crawford,

    words like sizzled are about to enter these forums […]. Plus, it’s going to get harder […] to figure out who is telling true porkys

    You mean like: – Dis sizzle ’bout ta get real, yo ’fukkaz! ?

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1847 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Since when has a right wing Government not fucked something?.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes, in reply to Craig Ranapia,

    Ian Wishart and his scabby organ

    Ewe...

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • steven crawford, in reply to Craig Ranapia,

    I just have to say this is one of the funniest preposterous parts of a sentence:

    Jeremy Corbyn fucked his dinner at a union conference.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 4082 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie, in reply to Steve Barnes,

    Ian Wishart and his scabby organ

    Ewe...

    "Tell me again how you got your scabs, Ian...."

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4590 posts Report Reply

  • Rosemary McDonald,

    Waikato, or on the road • Since Apr 2014 • 1333 posts Report Reply

  • Kumara Republic, in reply to Tinakori,

    Did William Burroughs, Jack Kerouac, Norman Mailer, Gore Vidal, Henry Miller et al die in vain.

    No, they didn't die in vain, because they never pretended to hold others to any moral standard. Whereas David Cameron pontificates to his fellow Britons about 'Broken Britain', conveniently forgetting it needs to start from the top.

    The southernmost capital … • Since Nov 2006 • 5407 posts Report Reply

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