Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: P.A. Story

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  • chris,

    an incidental character with name suppression who has a wonderfully confused theory about the uniquely western origin of Art.

    And if at all possible, Eric Clapton armed with a spray can, or at least someone who claims he saw that.

    Mawkland • Since Jan 2010 • 1302 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Andre Alessi,

    hence the “red zone”

    I quite like the idea of the city having erogenous zones. As well as orogenous ones.

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • recordari, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    It beats "It was a dark and stormy night" hands down.

    You mean 'stromy'? Polish for steep and hilly.

    The Stromy Approach to Garbled Ale.

    ETA: We need a punster publican, pouring pernicious pints.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew, in reply to recordari,

    We need a punster publican, pouring pernicious pints.

    Paging Mr Callaghan, Mr Mike Callaghan...

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • nzlemming, in reply to Jeremy Andrew,

    Quiet! The Spiders will come...

    Waikanae • Since Nov 2006 • 2930 posts Report Reply

  • chris,

    or maybe a suburb with name suppression and a mental obsessed with removing all the H-es from our language.

    Mawkland • Since Jan 2010 • 1302 posts Report Reply

  • recordari, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Is that similar to what happens hearings when people make oral submissions?
    You're trying to actually kill me, aren't you?

    So when you write in the forward 'In the Oral Tradition', you mean something else? Just to be clear.

    #MaorifyNZ

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    I was just saying to my daughter as we drove out to the Dowse today that Thorndon Overbridge sounds like a great name.

    So, yeah.

    The Reverend Thorndon Overbridge was frustrated. The need to read the gospel to fallen women was building, but the red zone appeared empty of the morally corrupt. He was already shaking after an encounter with some hulking street drinkers. One had importuned him. The Reverend offered the huge man a tea, which substitute had met with angry refusal.

    Then in the distance, a pale bulk lolled.

    Finally, his kind of siren.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Stephen Judd,

    Reverend Thorndon Overbridge

    Perhaps we could Christchurchify it to Durham Overbridge?

    ETA: and we MUST have a drunken Grand Chancellor in here somewhere, I think!

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • Andre Alessi, in reply to Stephen Judd,

    Then in the distance, a pale bulk lolled...

    "...like a cat on the Internet."

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • Heather Gaye, in reply to chris,

    a mental obsessed with removing all the H-es from our language

    God, that'd make me eater.

    Morningside • Since Nov 2006 • 532 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Andre Alessi,

    Then in the distance, a pale bulk lolled…

    “…like a cat on the Internet.”

    or like that kitten that destroyed London in The Goodies ...

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __,

    I think the story should include some kind of quest or pilgrimage to find the Well of Punliness. AFAIK it's somewhere in Shirley. ;-)

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings, in reply to Lilith __,

    and we MUST have a drunken Grand Chancellor in here somewhere, I think!

    Oh lordy yes - he can stop people from ever being able to get on with stuff.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Alice Ronald, in reply to Lilith __,

    and we MUST have a drunken Grand Chancellor in here somewhere, I think!

    in a fight with Copthorne Durham?

    Christchurch • Since May 2011 • 63 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Alice Ronald,

    and we MUST have a drunken Grand Chancellor in here somewhere, I think!

    in a fight with Copthorne Durham?

    Or perhaps Durham Copthorne? Not to be confused with the Rev. Durham Overbridge!

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • Greg Dawson, in reply to Emma Hart,

    Greg: would you care to be more specific about ‘what kind of dog collar’, or shall I just… “use my judgement”?

    Well I was referring to the pastor-y tag, but if you want to go judgement day (or lay?) then collar it however you like.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 294 posts Report Reply

  • Alice Ronald, in reply to Lilith __,

    Confuse away - cause for the fight?

    Christchurch • Since May 2011 • 63 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler,

    "Enlightenment came to Reverend Overbridge on the rugby field; nothing could ever be the same after that."

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 856 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Alice Ronald,

    cause for the fight?

    I was thinking they might have gone to different schools ;-)

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3887 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Look I was holding back, just in case someone gets there before me, it being a group thing an' all, but PAS Tory? Anyone?

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    The ref knelt by the sick manatee, blowing his pink whistle.
    It made a desolate squeaking.Nobody & nothing has responded to his SOSs
    over the past night & day.
    Sudddenly – glints! Reddish glints!
    An anomalous someone was trudging over the misty liquifaction field towards them.
    It seemed to be followed by a vast levitating cupboard.
    It stopped 4 metres away.
    “Yeah, kia ora?”
    The glints came from a wild mass of scarlet curls.
    The ref was stunned.
    “Your… your…hair?”
    “Nah yeah but – s’wig. Pinched it off the set of that film, To Tha- something. One a the janets. Got pockets in it.”
    “Oh – they wouldnt happen to have a fish in them?” He sobs. “My friend here – ” poking at the manatee ” who saved my, well, y’know, is sooo hungry.”
    “Nah.” The anomalous person scratched it’s wig. Several small scuttly things dropped out & died miserable deaths in the ooze. “Hold on a tic tho’ -” as it opened the cupboard and began groping about."Yesss!” holding up a wee translucent fish.” Here, yer mate can have it.”
    The ref looked bitterly down at O. The huge manatee had shut it’s sad eyes.
    “There’s about a tonne of it in there. Somewhere. We can all look eh?”

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart, in reply to Lilith __,

    Or perhaps Durham Copthorne? Not to be confused with the Rev. Durham Overbridge!

    Simple. Copthorne Durham is obviously the Rev Thorndon Overbridge's secret super-hero identity. Yes, he's a hotel, and nobody notices... It's the dog collar.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Andre Alessi, in reply to Islander,

    The ref knelt by the sick manatee, blowing his pink whistle...

    I smell a Nobel Prize! Or possibly the perfume of the manatee's tears.

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • Andre Alessi,

    "Mary Sue the Sexual Robot tenderly stroked the cracked columns of the Cathedral's inner chamber..."

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

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